Is this how you feel?

[Martin S]

I run a Scottish dancing club, and the men all come in kilts.
Yesterday, an Englishman, a regular member, arrived in trousers!

I asked why. He said, dead serious, that since his wife was unwell and stayed at home, he could not face wearing his kilt unaccompanied.

I offered to hold his hand next time, but he did not seem to think that would do ( ;-)

Is this the way you Xmarkers feel about kilt-wearing?
Do you have to be accompanied to appear in public? (by a female to prove you are not gay? is that it?)

If the fellow in question had a long walk through poorly lit streets, I might have felt a little more sympathy, but he comes by car, door to door!!!

A short while ago, another fellow drove some 150 kms to join in our dancing. It was still wintry, but he wore shorts for the journey and changed on arrival, and before departure to return home. The usual excuse for this is they don't want to spoil their kilts, but I really think it is the fear of having to stop on route and being seen kilted.

Martin (not fearless, by any means, just thick-skinned)

[Pour1Malt]

if ya wear a kilt e'ery day like ai dae...

ya get used tae wearin' it alain...

nay problem...

ai gae e'ery where in ma kilt...

[Mike1]

Pardon my pointing this out, but have you considered you may be missing the mark entirely?

Did you bother to ask the gentleman if there was some special, sentimental value in only wearing his kilt in his wife's company? Perhaps his kilt was a special gift from his wife? Perhaps his wife asked him not to wear it? Or did you just assume he was afraid to wear it without his wife being present?

Sorry, but some of you really leave me wondering about the level tolerance you demonstrate. I see so many of you crying out for wives, co-workers, employers and the man in the street to be tolerant of your desire to kilts. Only to then turn around and demonstrate a total lack of reciprocity, when it comes to another individual's wishes.

I have to chuckle at times to see how a man wants to wear a kilt as a statement of non-conformity, yet that same man will turn around and belittle another man for wearing his kilt differently.

Maybe it's not about individuality after all...

[McMurdo]

I do not feel that way at all, and while I do not wear the kilt everyday

(there are times when a pair of jeans is required, riding a motorcycle, moving etc.)

I am up to solid 5 or 6 days a week, my ex did not share my feelings about wearing a kilt, therefore the only time we were out together while I was kilted was at my brother's wedding.

We all have our reasons for going kilted or not, we as a community should respect the choices of others to dress as they like with no explanation needed or asked, because when you look at it is that not what we want from the public at large for ourselves?

[Big Paul]

I wear my kilt with pride, wife or no wife!

[M. A. C. Newsome]

A short while ago, another fellow drove some 150 kms to join in our dancing. It was still wintry, but he wore shorts for the journey and changed on arrival, and before departure to return home. The usual excuse for this is they don't want to spoil their kilts, but I really think it is the fear of having to stop on route and being seen kilted.

I know a lot of people who do this, and there are a variety of reasons. One is, yes, not wanting to mess up the kilt. I've been wearing the kilt long enough and know how to sit well in it, so I don't think twice about going for a car ride in the kilt. However, I know a lot of people who do not wear the kilt as regularly and are not as used to sitting in it would not have the same experience. Their kilts would be horribly wrinkled by the time they got their event!

I always have a pair of shorts or something I can change into just in case of emergency. Once I was at a Highland Games that is a little over an hour's drive from my house. Great weather... untill it was time to pack up. I got caught in a downpour and my kilt got soaking wet. I didn't have any other clothes, so I had to sit on my wet kilt for an hour as I drove home. By the time I got home my kilt was so horribly wrinkled I had to completely repress the whole thing. Since then I always take shorts.

I mean what if I got into trouble on the road and had to change a tire, or push my car to a gas station? While you certainly can do any of these things in a kilt, it would be nice to have the option to change into some shorts and not risk your kilt getting grease or oil on it.

Also, while I find the kilt very comfortable most of the time, while driving (especially in the summer) it is not always so. During the summer months, on a sunny day, the sun can really bear down through the window, heating up the wool that is lying right on my bare leg. It gets very warm, very fast. This is the only time I really find the kilt to be less than comfortable.

Do some people not want to wear their kilts into service stations, rest stops, or restaraunts while on the road? Sure. Sometimes I don't. It's not a matter of being afraid to be seen in the kilt in public or anything like that. It's just a fact that when you wear the kilt you draw attention to yourself. Sometimes you might not want to stand out. And that's just fine.

And this is coming from a full-time kilt advocate who wears a kilt most of the time! Sometimes I just want to blend in, go incognito, and be able to run an errand or go about my business without having to answer questions about the kilt. There's nothing wrong with that.

My personal ruleof thiumb is that if I am going to be in the car for more than one hour, I usually wear comfy driving clothes (pants or shorts) and change when I get to my destination. For trips shorter than that, it's not worth it to me to change clothes, so I drive kilted.

The point is, though, there are all kinds of reasons why people might choose to wear the kilt, and all kinds of reasons why they might choose not to wear the kilt, and we should respect that.

[sjrapid]

I asked why. He said, dead serious, that since his wife was unwell and stayed at home, he could not face wearing his kilt unaccompanied.

Is this the way you Xmarkers feel about kilt-wearing?

No - but I agree with some of the previous comments that for this gentleman, wearing the kilt may be all bound up with being with his wife, or dancing with his wife, or dressing to please her.

Do you have to be accompanied to appear in public?

No - but the first few times I went out kilted were formal occasion dinners where my wife was dressed to the nines, and I was in a PC, dress sporran, the whole works... Having my wife with me those first few times was a great comfort, and the fact that she was proud of me dressed in what she called 'all my finery' and said so, was a great encouragement.

It took a while before I was brave enough to go out casual kilted. Now, I love it, and wear the kilt causally several times a week. It took a few positive solo outings to build up confidence.

I guess your gentlemen is simply at a different point on the confidence continuum to you, and others here on this board.

Best regards

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

Its been said before that we would all like to have kilts come into the mainstream to the extent that they are just seen as another clothing choice, like shorts, dockers, sweat pants, etc.. So that implies that it is also someone's choice not to wear one for any reason or occasion. I rarely leave the house without putting on a kilt because I don't feel dressed right to go out in public somehow, but when I am sitting at my desk at home working or just doing work around the house, I am typically in shorts. My choice.

[RK-REX]

I wear my kilt with pride, wife or no wife!

Even if I'm alone, I just smile and be on my way. I know the truth.

The point is, though, there are all kinds of reasons why people might choose to wear the kilt, and all kinds of reasons why they might choose not to wear the kilt, and we should respect that.

In the words of Arthur "The Fonz" Herbert Fonzarelli...

EXACTOMUNDO!!

[Martin S]

My mention of a friend who told me he would not go out alone in a kilt, was not to ridicule him. I really think he wears a kilt to the dance club just to be like other members and perhaps even to please us all.
The point of my writing was rather to show that, however at ease men may appear to be kilted in certain surroundings and company, they still feel very ill at ease when circumstances change slightly.
Even though we regard our kilts as masculine, we still have some subconscious feeling of sexual ambiguity.
This matters more to some than to others, apparently.

Martin