Oh noes... What have I done...

[Dreadbelly]

May your days be filled with lovely lassies in line for a mini-kilt fitting!

My wife, she'd turn were-Irish and kill me.

[Kilted KT]

My wife, she'd turn were-Irish and kill me.

oooo...that would be horibly bad....

hmm, tell her that with all the money these lassies are spending on you, you'll clothe her in the finest linens...and provide for her every whim!

[Sean_the_Kilted]

Just take one day and issue at a time. If you think too far ahead, you will get overwhelmed. Try to relax and congrats

[Dirka Skene]

First of all, don't freak-if it's not already too late. By the sound of it, it might be too late. Well, don't freak anymore. Good things, divinely meant for you, ALWAYS work out. Be an objective observer to the problems that may present themselves and tend to them in the most befitting way. Congrats Dread!

[ccga3359]

My dear Dread, as Sean The kilted said;

Just take one day and issue at a time.

Follow that advice and you'll be fine. On the rougher days you'll always have us to yell at. Consider what you will learn and how it will help you in your future endeavours. Keep chasing your dream.

And that dream is to build me my own Dread Pirate Belly® hemp pirate shirt. Hope you take PayPal.

[Mumbles]

Hang in there, one day at a time. I will offer up my next mass for your wife.

[solstice]

Hey brother don't worry about the surgeries the Family Medical Leave Act states that you will be able to take time off work if you need to help out with the fam and still have a job when everything is looking better, and if they axe you while you're out you've got some serious means for a suit, unless they play dirty.
Congrats on getting a job, maybe things will start to get better now, eh? And gainful employment means that with proper budgeting you'll have money to play around with.

[JimB]

Good things, divinely meant for you, ALWAYS work out.

There is wisdom here Dread. Congrats on your new job!

[Kid Cossack]

Dread my brother: I can understand unfortunately all too well about the panic attacks. Never had them until the business partner revealed himself as a thief and rascal and all of a sudden I have to try and run this little company all by my lonesome. EEEEEK! Knowing they will pass is no comfort. (Or a cold one, at best.) Knowing I can do it, really, is no comfort. But they DO pass, and you CAN do it. Be you, be the DREAD, take it one step at a time.

Do you know the most important thing that boot camp taught me? Boot camp taught me that if you work at something, you can do far more than you ever imagined you could.

When I get low, when I worry, when I stress out and freak out and basically just lose my . . . um, my stuff, here's what I tell myself: "I've got my wife and little girls who depend on me, and ten thousand thousand thousand other idiots have managed to get by in this situation, or one worse by far, and I can do it."

You can do it, o my brother. And you'd better do it, too! I'd no want any were-Irish gobbling you up!

[Dreadbelly]

I am very, very happy to have this chance, no matter how small it might seem, to try and dig my self out of this hole.

This is not a "poor me" sort of post at all. Was never my intent.

I do however, have some very real concerns. I am trapped in a system where they punish people for trying to help themselves out. If I find my self with an eviction notice, or my wife's checks are threatened, I hate to say it, but I'll probably have to drop the job and continue to try and make money under the table somehow. I don't want to do that really. I'd like to have a halfway normal life someday. I dunno if I want the whole house and little white picket fence, but decent food on the table and to be comfortable would be nice. Not running out of food before I run out of month would be nice too.

I am not sure of my other half's feelings on this. She knows what can happen now. She's been a little... Well, quiet on the issue. She's not exactly as happy as I hoped she'd be. The eviction thing is really scary. This is a retirement community, and living here is based on SSI/SS income. If threatened with eviction, heck yeah, I'd cave. I mean, there is no way to find a place in 30 days and keep working. Heck, if I had to move, I'd have no way to get to work. I got the job because I live two blocks away and because there is an understanding that I can fix the transportation issue ASAP.

So now I walk the gauntlet. If, and this is a BIG if, if I am allowed to stay here, my rent is going to go up. No telling how much, but It'll be pretty bad. It'll be based on my income up to a point, after that point if they allow me to stay it goes to fair market value, which is a over 1000 a month. If my rent gets jacked up, and if I get sick or something happens, and I can't get to work to make enough to cover the new rent amount, or I lose my job somehow, all of those unknowns, if I can't pay the new rent amount, we're homeless. I am really sticking my neck out here and taking a major risk doing this. I want things to happen, I want things to change, but geeze... This system is absolutely punishing to those that try to get free. No safety net at all here. In all honesty, I am about to play the most dangerous game of chicken in my life. I'm ok with that really, but knowing the consequences of what can happen is making me jittery. I've seen people's lives absolutely destroyed by what I am trying to do right now. I've seen people forced to make tough choices between paying for pills or paying for food go out and get a little part time job... And 30 days later all of their furniture and belongings are out on the curb being picked over by a greedy public looking for a freebie. The system would rather see you starve to death than to see you help your self... There was a guy in a wheelchair that lived here. He got himself a part time job at Wal Mart. (Cleaning the parking lot actually) His stuff wound up out on the curb and he couldn't carry everything away with him. He had no where to go. The sheriff stood over his stuff and made sure people didn't fight over it as they took what they wanted. And this was while the guy was watching, sitting in wheelchair.

The powers that be send a very clear message to the people living here, and places like this one, and that message is, "don't even try."

The risks have to be checked, and something has to be done, because I can't keep living like this. This is unbearable. I want more out of life than this.

Here's to hoping I can sneak past the guards.