And I could do nothing as I watched her change from those experiences. These were monsters that I could not defend her from, shadows I could not pound in to submission with my big hammy hands. Even though I know I haven't, I can not help but feel that I have let her down somehow, even though I know in my heart that there was nothing I could do stop what happened.
She didn't have to face her troubles alone. Whatever you think your failings might be, you were there when she needed you most. My guess is that she'll love you all the more for that.

You've every right to be angry. You don't deserve the kick in the teeth life's dealt you and your family. Together, you've got the strenght to handle it.

There's a lot of healing to be done. Hang in there.