Whilst suggestions are still being lobbed into the slow steamer, I'll post these two which show just how bad things get after too many shots of single malt...

'Apron'd and pleat'd, we greeted'
...'cup of tea, luv?'...sounds like the kitchen at the parish hall on Women's Institute afternoon.

'Friendship chosen through yarn deftly woven'
...after a quick rub down with The Beginner's Book Of Poetry