Let The Buyer Beware

[Livingston]

We do have help for you with your kilt addition in our 12 step program:

Step 1. Buy kilts.
Step 2. Buy Hose.
Step 3. Buy flashes.
Step 4. Buy sporrans.
Step 5. Buy kilt pins.
Step 6. Buy fly plaids.
Step 7. Buy jackets.
Step 8. Buy sgian dubhs.
Step 9. Buy shoes.
Step 10. Learn to make kilts.
Step 11. Learn to make everything else above.
Step 12. Hang out on X-Marks.

Repeat as necessary and have a good time with friends and family.

[James MacMillan]

We do have help for you with your kilt addition in our 12 step program:

Step 1. Buy kilts.
Step 2. Buy Hose.
Step 3. Buy flashes.
Step 4. Buy sporrans.
Step 5. Buy kilt pins.
Step 6. Buy fly plaids.
Step 7. Buy jackets.
Step 8. Buy sgian dubhs.
Step 9. Buy shoes.
Step 10. Learn to make kilts.
Step 11. Learn to make everything else above.
Step 12. Hang out on X-Marks.

Repeat as necessary and have a good time with friends and family.

I know that this is supposed to be a twelve step program (for some obscure reason) but I had bad hicoughs at number 10 and 11.

I suggest:

Step 10. Have a kilt (or kilts) custom made for you.
Step 11. Learn who the best suppliers of all the above are.