Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

[Splash_4]

Hmmm, I think we miss the point here.... Would not a hair sporran be a more appropriate ending to Grant?

Ens. Splash_4, Saltire Security

[starbkjrus]

I have GOT to stop reading this thread at the office.

[ccga3359]

Ah all this hot air spewing forth from the Christmas flag security detail, they must need all they can generate so that they can lift Panache's mighty ego of the ground. What is with Panache anyhow? Why is he wearing a maroon Porter's cap from the Waldorf Astoria? Is it even his own hat or is someone just having fun with him.

And another thing, mock my hair if you must, but I assure you it is made from the finest poly-viscous that MacHummel had woven... excuse me weaved by Martin Mills!

[BEEDEE]

Ah all this hot air spewing forth from the Christmas flag security detail, they must need all they can generate so that they can lift Panache's mighty ego of the ground.

Surely you know that the Saltire is filled with helium, a lighter than air gas that provides more than enough lift for all its crew and equipment.

We of the security detail just feel that we need to react to ANY attempt on Panache's person, whether physical or verbal. It's a result of our exceptional training by the US Secret Service Presidential Security Detail.

Ens BEEDEE XMAS Saltire Security

[starbkjrus]

Ah all this hot air spewing forth from the Christmas flag security detail, ...snip
And another thing, mock my hair if you must, but I assure you it is made from the finest poly-viscous that MacHummel had woven... excuse me weaved by Martin Mills!

Well I really can't argue with the first part....there really is a lot of hot air spewing here from what does indeed seem to be the Christmas Flag Security Detail... (Kilted Kris Kringle anyone?)

I do have to ask...if the hair is PV then what is the firm yet supple rounded butt made of?

[ccga3359]

I do have to ask...if the hair is PV then what is the firm yet supple rounded butt made of?

I would strongly recommend Sir, that you allow your mind to wander to matters that a Gentleman of your stature should be thinking about. In short, I give you 3 seconds to remove your hand from my butt!

[Panache]

Gentle Readers*,

Whilst I am most pleased that my small tale has gathered such enthusiasm amongst my readers, I would beseech you all to approach this material with a bit less fervor. My writings are meant as gentle amusements for the entertainment of our Forum’s good membership, nothing more. I would not have such mirth lead to either crudity or hostility, crude hostility, hostile crudity, and so forth. Let there be peace amongst you and allow me the task of gently spoofing you all. This tale is nearing its completion and I implore you to remain in each other's good graces, sit back, and allow it to unfold.

Your Most Humble Servant

P.

* and Grant

[The Wizard of BC]

So I guess that I shouldn't bring up the little fact that the description of the fare you enjoyed at the Empress Hotel was for Afternoon Tea not High Tea.

The difference is this;

While afternoon tea used to be an everyday event, nowadays it is more likely to be taken as a treat in a hotel, café, or tea shop, although many Britons still have a cup of tea and slice of cake or chocolate at teatime. Accordingly, many hotels now market a champagne cream tea.
Traditionally, loose tea would be served in a teapot with milk and sugar. This would be accompanied by various sandwiches (customarily cucumber, egg and cress, fish paste (bloater), ham, and smoked salmon), scones (with butter, clotted cream and jam — see cream tea) and usually cakes and pastries (such as Battenberg, fruit cake or Victoria sponge). The food would be often served in a tiered stand.

High Tea (also known as Meat Tea) is an early evening meal, typically eaten between 5 and 6 o'clock in the evening. It would be eaten as a substitute for both afternoon tea and the evening meal. The term comes from the meal being eaten at the ‘high’ (main) table, instead of the smaller lounge table. It is now largely replaced by a later evening meal.
It would usually consist of cold meats, eggs and/or fish, cakes and sandwiches. In a family, it tends to be less formal and is an informal snack (featuring sandwiches, biscuits, pastry, fruit and the like) or else it is the main evening meal.
On farms or other working class environments, high tea would be the traditional, substantial meal eaten by the workers immediately after nightfall, and would combine afternoon tea with the main evening meal.

Mentioning these little tidbits of trivia that float around in my head would of course be rude and unnecessary and I would never wish to spoil the effect of your tale so let's leave it between just you and I. I won't tell the rabble of this faux pax if you won't