Subjected to 'racial abuse' while kilted - sorry if length and/or content offends

[Troy]

Hi All,
I would like to relate to you an experience that I had a couple of weeks back. Given that this is a family forum I will do my best to censor the language, but please forgive me if anyone finds this offensive.

My wife and I attended a concert in the centre of Sydney and had drinks and nibbles with a couple we hadn’t seen for a few years. It was a great concert (Paul Kelly, one of Australia’s finest, IMHO) and we had a lovely time catching up with our friends. I was wearing my Cornish National tank with black Dr Martens, white T-shirt & black leather jacket – nothing but positive comments all evening, that is until we were on our way home.

While waiting to cross the road to the train station, I heard an extremely aggressive voice snarl the words, “William Wallace was a skirt-wearing f*****!” It was clear to me that this was not somebody ‘paying me out’ – this was somebody in an extremely agitated state.

I turned around to see five young guys of, to use TV newspeak “Middle Eastern appearance” walking towards me: the smallest of them being the one who had made the comment. The other four didn’t say a word, they just grabbed their aggro little and tried to get him to keep walking. He broke away from them and started approaching me again so I (in retrospect, perhaps unwisely) put my hands on my hips and said to him, with a smile, “Little boy, when you get home you can tell your mother that you saw a real man tonight.” I then winked at him and said, “She’ll know who you’re talking about.”

Not surprisingly, this made him even more agitated, but he wasn’t game to come any closer than about five metres. His mates were nowhere to be seen, apart from one who came back to grab him and hold up his hand as if to placate me and stop his little pal from getting thumped. (I might add that I was having a great night and had no intention of thumping anybody, but would certainly have defended myself from a physical attack if necessary.)

The best my little ‘friend’ could come up with was to (rather predictably), grab his crutch and spit the immortal words, “Oh, yeah! Well your mother’s had my big Middle Eastern **** in her ****!” Now, a comment like that is likely to make the blood of a teenage boy boil, but being almost 40, and realising I was engaging in a battle of wits with an unarmed ‘man’, I simply laughed at him and said (and I mean must stress here that this is the first time in my life that I have ever stooped to making a comment that could be regarded as racist ) words to the effect that I now new for sure that he was full of BS, because there is no such thing as a “big Middle Eastern ****”, apart from the one on his shoulders.

As his friend dragged him off (and I must add that he wasn’t really making much of an effort to break free and attack me) all he could do was remind me that just as William Wallace was a skirt-wearing f*****, so was I. By this time, the other pedestrians waiting to cross the road realised there was not going to be an act of violence committed, and began to laugh at my would-be attacker, and congratulate me on standing up to a thug.

My wife chastised me gently for not simply ignoring the initial comment – which would have been the best course of action I suppose – but couldn’t help laughing about the fact that the little bloke had become even more aggressive than when he started, and obviously wouldn’t be able to count on his mates backing him up if he picked the wrong guy next time.

Stay safe,

Troy

[James MacMillan]

I think you did pretty well. The thing I like to do in situations like this, is laugh at them. Sure, that can piss them off more, but when they are pissed, they aren't using their brain, and they are easier to beat!

[Sean_the_Kilted]

You did fine. A lot of other people would have said something a bit more on his level and might have kept antagonzing him. He is insecure and felt like putting someone down to make himself feel better.

[ardchoille]

You did fine. A lot of other people would have said something a bit more on his level and might have kept antagonzing him. He is insecure and felt like putting someone down to make himself feel better.

I couldn't have said it better myself. There's no greater handicap than a closed mind.

[cessna152towser]

Well handled. Anybody who behaves as this little fellow did obviously suffers from chronic inadequacy and you did the right thing in realising this rather than letting it get to you.

[Panache]

I offer this comment as a member, not a moderator.

By his actions, the fellow you encountered was no gentleman.

He provoked you, and you responded.

The racial slur you made brought you to the level of this unpleasant person and was an insult to not only him but the people accompanying him.

I think that just walking on would have been the best course of action.

If I had responded to the comment “William Wallace was a skirt-wearing f*****!” it would have been to say "William Wallace didn't wear a kilt, READ A BOOK!"

Respectfully

Jamie

[Ozman1944]

As a fellow-Aussie (now in the U.S.) You handled it perfectly. "Slur for slur' does not have the same connotations there as it does here in the U.S. Racism is endemic in U.S. history, and is still alive & well-even if improving. Australia is only just beginning to have interracial problems, which ironicaly are actually being instigated by certain Middle Easterners of a certain religion & culture.
Mature Aussies tend to use their tongues first, and fists as a reluctant last recourse. Many fights are avoided with a buit of verbal one upmanship.
Good on yer mate! You told him - & he backed off.

[Dirk Skene]

I am no doctor, but it sounds like these boys have some serious emotional problems You still handled the problem in a much more gentlemanly manner than I would have. I rarely am subjected to crass comments, but when I am go from zero to nasty very quickly. Turpin is trying to make me better.

[gseven1]

Thanks Troy for posting this. It is always good to see how other people handle these types of situations. I've not had many problems myself, but it gives me something to think about just in case.

Glad it resolved itself that well.

Cheers.

[Perldog007]

I guess that cultures vary. I have posted it before and will probably post it a thousand more times. If some idiot calling me a homosexual is the worst thing that happens to me in a day, that ain't such a tough day.

Compared to what others on this earth face, it's a cakewalk. Personally I know some decent hardworking folks who happen to be gay or lesbian. I grew up backstage in the theatre so I guess I just don't care. As long as the Mrs. knows my preference, the rest of the world can be hanged.

How or if I respond would be determined by situation and state of mind. Usually if I bothered, it would be in a way to point out the obvious. The person making the comment has got some things going on in the imagination department.

I have to confess an unfavorable prejudice towards some middle eastern cultures. I do have good friends from the region, but had to work past my preconceptions to get there.

While responding to such a statement would be out of character for me I could understand why some would feel impelled to. Such blatent ignorance and hatred would tend to invoke a strong emotional response from me. Making it all the more likely that I would simply take my leave.

My unsolicited .02 USD, if we are secure enough to wear kilts, we can handle the occasional idiot exposing his latent tendencies. Just a thought.