A gift for a Celtic funeral

**The Wizard of BC** · 26th September 07, 09:47 AM

The best gesture I ever heard off during a time of loss was one I read about in a Reader's Digest many moons ago.

While preparing for the funeral of her husband a wife answered the door to find an elderly neighbor she barely knew standing on her stoop with a shoe shine box. The man simply said "I'm here to shine the shoes." Of course, in the turmoil the woman had much more important things to think about than shining her children's shoes.

This mans gift of thoughtfulness, to do something that needed to be done, was the true mark of caring.

Since that time I have remembered to actually DO something, that needs doing, for those in grief. Some menial task that is very low on the list of things that need doing. Mow a neglected lawn, take a car to a scheduled service, take the dog to a grooming, or simply shine the shoes.

Now that the service is over your friend is having to learn to do those things his wife used to do. Drive the two hours again, stop off at the grocery on the way and knock at the door and offer to make dinner. Then cook it, serve it, and wash the dishes after. Then leave.
Or show up with your vacuum cleaner, windex and dustrags. Tell your friend to sit down and take five as you clean the living room. Keep it simple, keep it impersonal, and keep it short.

Advice is worth what you pay for it so take this or leave it.

**James MacMillan** · 26th September 07, 04:27 PM

What the Wizard just said makes a whole lot of sense to me! The next time that I’m in this situation, I hope I remember it!

Thanks Steve!

**The Wizard of BC** · 26th September 07, 05:15 PM

I hope my note did not sound like I am preaching.

**Clockwork John** · 26th September 07, 09:52 PM

Oh, no. It didn't sound preachy at all. It's actually wonderful advice. Hopefully I'll be able to find a free half day soon so that I can actually go do something for him.

**The Wizard of BC** · 26th September 07, 11:54 PM

Gunny,

You don't really need to remember it, it is trained into you. The Corps is all about service. Your lodge is all about service.

The next time someone needs you, you will instinctively know what to do.

**James MacMillan** · 27th September 07, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by The Wizard of BC

Gunny,

You don't really need to remember it, it is trained into you. The Corps is all about service. Your lodge is all about service.

The next time someone needs you, you will instinctively know what to do.

Just to be picky - The proper term is "Master Gunny" But that was in a previous life!

Now back to the topic at hand - We all need to remember that funerals - all funerals - are for the living. The dead don't attend.

But for the living - It allows us to grieve! It allows us to cement the memory of the departed firmly into our scull so that they never truly leave.

With out the grieving process, it's much worse.

Your words really rung true - Thanks again.

**Warlock** · 27th September 07, 05:31 AM

After the death of a friend many, many years ago, I was speaking with thier loved one. That talk seemed to do more good than anything. Later that person said to me "The most anyone could do for me, is simply be my friend. You've done that, and I thank you." The profundity of that statement has always stuck with me.