There's a boring old dance but I don't know its name
That people who wear pants do again and again
It's big and it's bifurcated, full of tension and fear
They do it over there but we don't do it here

Fashion! turn to the left
Fashion! turn to the right
Oooh, fashion!
We are the Kilt Police and we're coming to town
Pleat-pleat
Pleat-pleat

Listen to me - don't listen to me
Talk to me - don't talk to me
Dance with me - don't dance with me, no
Pleat-pleat

There's a new fashion tilt , so let's give a cheer!
Oh bop
That people from good homes are kilting this year
Oh bop, fashion
It's bold and tasteful. and you've seen it before
Oh bop
You twirl it while you're dancing on the ole dance
Floor
Oh bop, fashion

Fashion! turn to the left
Fashion! right
Fashion!
We are the Kilt Police and we're coming to town
Pleat-pleat
Pleat-pleat

Listen to me - don't listen to me
Talk to me - don't talk to me
Dance with me - don't dance with me, no
Pleat-pleat
Pleat-pleat

Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
La-la la la la la la-la
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
La-la la la la la la-la
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-Hamish!
La-la la la la la la-la
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
Oh, bop, do do do do do do do do
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion
La-la la la la la la-la

(With apologies to David Bowie)

Cheers

Jamie