Mad as hell!

**kiltedsawyer** · 23rd November 07, 11:38 AM

DSF,
Just a thought as I was reading all of the fine advice above......(this may be from left field,).....she seems rather impassioned about your kilt wearing, what if she's actually turned on by it? What if it's that one thing that makes her think she chose the wrong friend to marry? Maybe she knows all about kilts and it's just driving her crazy that you wear one? A female friend of mine told me that she saw a man (not me, )in a kilt once and it was the sexiest thing she'd ever seen. In any event, I think a one on one chat is your best bet, but you need to be tactful, and non-confrontational. You won't lose a [U]real[U] friend over an article of clothing. Good Luck!

**DireStraitsFan** · 23rd November 07, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Ya know... I found out yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner with my family that my sister in law is intentionally misinforming my nephews about what a kilt is! I wore my Back Stewart kilt, green hose, flashes, a nice white shirt, and my matching Black Stewart tie, and my nephew Jake (6 years old) came over to me and said "Ties don't go with skirts!" Now he knows perfectly well what it is, but I reminded him, anyway. He said "But my mommy says it's a skirt!" I confronted her and asked why she was miseducating the kids. She told me that only cross dressers wear things like kilts. I have given her all kinds of information, both printed and virtual. I want to be a history teacher, so I have tons of books. I gave her one about the battle of Coluden, and I gave her one on the history of tartan. So she knows damned well what the kilt is. She is just living proof that you can lead a jackass to water, but you can't make it drink.

I don't even have any pics of how good I looked because she is the one with the camera and refused to take any pictures of me from the waist down.

That sucks, NightHawk. It sounds to me like you are a more patient man than I am. I think I would have lost it. I tend to not deal with the irrational very well. It really p*sses me off when adults use children as weapons. What a sad, little woman she must be.

**RockyR** · 23rd November 07, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Ya know... I found out yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner with my family that my sister in law is intentionally misinforming my nephews about what a kilt is! I wore my Back Stewart kilt, green hose, flashes, a nice white shirt, and my matching Black Stewart tie, and my nephew Jake (6 years old) came over to me and said "Ties don't go with skirts!" Now he knows perfectly well what it is, but I reminded him, anyway. He said "But my mommy says it's a skirt!" I confronted her and asked why she was miseducating the kids. She told me that only cross dressers wear things like kilts. I have given her all kinds of information, both printed and virtual. I want to be a history teacher, so I have tons of books. I gave her one about the battle of Coluden, and I gave her one on the history of tartan. So she knows damned well what the kilt is. She is just living proof that you can lead a jackass to water, but you can't make it drink.

I don't even have any pics of how good I looked because she is the one with the camera and refused to take any pictures of me from the waist down.

The line I use...

"You can lead an idiot to water, but you can't make them THINK"

**John in Texas** · 23rd November 07, 04:42 PM

DSF ,
this is a far departure from many of the great pieces of advice offered here,I love thinking out of the box, but why not give it a try.

As your good friend & her husband has no problem with you wearing the kilt,,,get him into one as well!!!

If you are similar sizes loan him one of yours for a beer night out, or give him one for Christmas. Convert him and you have added to our ranks as well as gained an ally in convincing her that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a kilt.

Ultimately you need to have a 1 on 1 talk and get to the root cause of her problem with kilts. This is much deeper than an accidental reference to it as a skirt.

I am blessed to have a wife who LOVES a kilted man and friends who admire and respect my choice to wear a kilt. Those of you who are not as fortunate have my support and sympathy, but be fortunate you have a forum of friends here to turn to for support.

**Nighthawk** · 23rd November 07, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by DireStraitsFan

That sucks, NightHawk. It sounds to me like you are a more patient man than I am. I think I would have lost it. I tend to not deal with the irrational very well. It really p*sses me off when adults use children as weapons. What a sad, little woman she must be.

I asked her what men wear. When she pants, I asked her why it is that she can wear mens clothes, and that's fine, but I can't wear a kilt. All she said was "That's different."

Originally Posted by RockyR

The line I use...

"You can lead an idiot to water, but you can't make them THINK"

I like that one! Of course, I like mine, as well...

**TheKiltedWonder** · 23rd November 07, 05:45 PM

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies on this thread yet (it got a bit long), so I hope I am not too repetitive.

I have a friend who I made in somewhat similar circumstances and I totally understand how close such a friend can be and why you wouldn't simply want to say "to hell with you". I wonder if your friend is perhaps being a little over-protective of you. She hasn't seen your outfit yet and is potentially getting a distorted picture of it and of other people's reactions to it and is therefore intent on "helping" you.

As others have said, she hasn't seen you in this outfit yet, so she only has 2nd hand accounts of how it looks. Perhaps after the party, which I agree you should attend firmly trousered, you can meet up with her so she can see the outfit. Something at one of yours homes, so it's totally private. I'd wear my most traditional outfit and then she can see what it is you've been wearing and if she has any questions about why she can pose them openly. She's a friend, so you might not be able to convince her 100% about your wardrobe, but she'll at least listen to you, and that's half the battle.
Hope this hasn't been repetitive.

**TheKiltedWonder** · 23rd November 07, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

She told me that only cross dressers wear things like kilts.

I hate such close-mindedness!! And voluntary ignorance is no excuse!

**DireStraitsFan** · 23rd November 07, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

I asked her what men wear. When she pants, I asked her why it is that she can wear mens clothes, and that's fine, but I can't wear a kilt. All she said was "That's different."

You can't argue with that mentality. I worked in retail for a long time, and I learned many things there. One of which is, you cannot argue with stupid people. Sorry to be so harsh. But seriously, if she cannot come up with a more intelligent answer than that, it isn't worth arguing over. You might as well be trying to convince your dog that you are Abraham Lincoln.

**Rigged** · 23rd November 07, 08:07 PM

It's one thing when a person just doesn't know any better. She knows better. She seems like someone who clinging desperately to the pieces of a shattered sense of reality and identity. Denial is the first reaction. That she'd use her son to shore up her illusions indicates to me that this woman has some serious issues.

She can't handle the truth.

**sharpdressedscot** · 23rd November 07, 08:09 PM

Some people just don't understand such things. I guess it is the society we live in. Everything that is not seen normally is "outlawed" in people's worlds. I can stand the attention(though I dislike it), because I get attention when I'm not kilted anyways.

As for your situation, the only thing I can say is to keep trying to tell her. Try not to be offended or to offend. Situations like these are like like nuts, they're hard to crack but they can still be cracked.