Missions of the Retrieval Team - Kilts in a Cage

[davedove]

Scene 4

Aboard the Cruise Ship Ceilidh


Big Mikey cleared a path for Grant to reach the bar. As I watched, it seemed that Grant was becoming more and more agitated. Eventually, his voice raised enough that I could here him from across the deck.

“But where are the Canadian brands? How can you claim to have a complete selection without Canadian whiskies? And I don’t mean those blended ones you have. Don’t you know that these royal lips never touch anything but single malt?”

I decided I should go to help the poor bartender. As I approached the bar, the bartender was offering different bottles to Grant, who kept slapping them away.

Big Mikey recognized me as I approached and moved to intercept me.

“Easy Mikey, I only want to help out,” I told the large man. He looked me over closely, then nodded and stepped aside.

When Grant saw me, he was not so accepting. “What are you doing here?” he demanded. “How dare you interrupt our royal vacation?”

“Grant,” I started.

“You will address us as Your Majesty!” he demanded.

Wanting to calm the situation, I decided it might be best to follow his demands. “Of course, Your Majesty, perhaps I can help.”

I turned to the bartender, who seemed happy to be speaking to anyone other than Grant. I glanced down to his nametag. “Guillermo, I realize you don’t have the single malts here. Isn’t there supposed to be a special whisky tasting room on board?”

Guillermo seemed to realize that I was trying to help him out of a tight spot. “Yes sir,” he said. “The Highland Bar has been set up with a complete selection of single malts, from different countries. It won’t be open until we set sail though.”

“Thank you Guillermo.” I turned back to Grant. “Your Majesty, it seems that the single malts will not be available until after the ship sails. Please forgive the bartender. He is only trying to do his job and he can’t offer you what he does not have.”

“Yes, yes,” said Grant, with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Of course we cannot blame the servants for only doing their job. We will wait for the single malts.” He turned back to Big Mikey. “Let us return to our seats and await the sailing of the ship.”

Big Mikey looked at me briefly and I thought I saw a bit of relief in his eyes. He turned away and started making a path for Grant.

Ms. Stork stepped up to me. She had been hovering nearby in case her assistance was needed. “You know,” she said, “Mikey almost seemed happy to see you help out.”

“Yes, I imagine it must be quite a strain working with Grant at times, especially in social situations.” I glanced over at her and noticed the drink in her hand. “What’s that you have?”

“It’s called a nutty colada. It’s the same thing as a pina colada, except you put in amaretto instead of rum. It’s really quite luscious.”

“I would imagine it is. I’ll have to try one later. In the meantime, we need to find Panache, or one of the other Moderators. They need to know that Grant is aboard.”

[Panache]

..."...In the meantime, we need to find Panache, or one of the other Moderators. They need to know that Grant is aboard.”

I'm am so very glad I have Ensign Mender, Ensign BEEDEE, and Ensign Splash on speed dial...

"Gentlemen, you are needed..."

:mrgreen:

Cheers

Jamie

[davedove]

Scene 5

Aboard the Cruise Ship Ceilidh


Finding Panache turned out to be a difficult task. Anyone who has ever been on a cruise ship knows that they are big, with lots of rooms tucked away in the strangest places.

Ms. Stork and I were passing the ship’s casino when we again encountered Coemgen. He came up to us when we greeted him.

“Mr. Coemgen, maybe you can help us. We are looking for Panache. Have you seen him?”

“Ah, no, so sorry,” he answered. “I have not seen honorable Panache-san.”

“Well, if you do would you tell him we need to speak with him.”

“Of course, honorable Dove-san.” He continued on his course.

“I’m not sure,” I said to Ms. Stork, “but that seemed like a Japanese accent.”

“Yes,” she answered, “a bit over the top, but definitely Japanese.”

We continued our search of the ship. Since it was nearly time for our ship to embark on its journey, we headed up to the top deck. Perhaps Jaime would be there watching our departure.

As luck would have it, Jaime was indeed on the top deck with his family. Also there, in deep conversation with him, was another of the Moderators, David.

I quickly walked up to them.

Jaime noticed me first. “Hello again Dave. David here was giving me his opinion on where exactly to mount cannons to arm this ship.”

“Yes,” said David, “although this is obviously not a warship, it would not be too difficult to turn her into one. A few cannons with the proper reinforcement to the ship’s structure and this ship could be quite deadly.”

“Err, right,” I said. “Jaime, I need to talk with you. David, you too, since you’re here.”

“Oh yes,” answered Panache, “I saw Coemgen and he said you were looking for me.”

“That’s right. What was it with his accent? Japanese, wasn’t it?”

“Actually, he sounded very Italian to me. Strange, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is. Anyway, I think you need to know that Grant is on the ship. Plus, he has at least Big Mikey with him.”

“I wondered if he might show up,” Jaime said. “This cruise is open to kilt enthusiasts, and Grant is a kilt wearer, unbalanced though he may be. If he signed up, there’s no way to keep him off the ship.”

“We could always throw him overboard once we set sail,” David casually added to the conversation.

Panache and I looked at David, then at each other, each of us considering the suggestion.

“Naaa!” we both said, in unison.

“Let’s just keep an eye on him,” said Jaime. “If he causes any trouble we’ll deal with it when it happens.”

[Arlen]

Oh Grant, where will your mischief end?

[James MacMillan]

May one ask if the ship(James please note: SHIP not boat) has left the quay yet?

Right! I think I have it now.

Ships float and boats sink....................................right?

Or is it something different when it's a fishing ship or boat or

[Jock Scot]

Now then James repeat after me.You can put boats on ships,but not ships on boats.Unless you are talking about submarines and then they are called boats.

[James MacMillan]

Now then James repeat after me.You can put boats on ships,but not ships on boats.Unless you are talking about submarines and then they are called boats.

OK - here goes - You can put boats on ships, but not ships on boats. Unless you are talking about submarines and then they are called boats.

So I am right with row boat, and a canoe is also a boat, as is a dingy. But I am still unsure about sail boats and fishing boats..... When they get too big to put onto another, do they just automatically change names? It's a size thing only?

Sort of like when chubby turns to larda$$?

[Jock Scot]

Now James, stop splitting hairs!You are testing my nautical knowledge to the limit.Be assured with the sure fact that they can all sink!

[Pleater]

Ship?

So - three masts, square rigged?

[James MacMillan]

Back on topic here - Our heroes are on a cruise ship that appears to be similar to the "Love Boat" like on TV - - - right?