Here's another motoring one for you. An elderly scotsman and his hard of hearing wife go on a self drive of the USA. He pulls in to a service station and asks the attendant to fill the car up with petrol. We don't call it petrol here sir, we call it gas. What did he say asks the wife? They don't call it petrol here dear, they call it gas he replied. Scotsman then asks attendant to look under the bonnet. We don't call it bonnet here sir, it's a hood. What did he say she asks again. Scotsman again repeats. Attendant asks where are you folks from? Glasgow replies the scotsman. Attendant says I spent some time in Glasgow, many many years ago. I dated a woman who was very ugly but sex mad. What did he say she asks again. Husband replies - he thinks he knows you.