Noob tricks/pranks

[OFCJAX]

What's your favorite Noob (FNG for the military types) trick or prank to play?

Ours was have the new guy go over to personnel and tell them he needed a unit ID card made up. He had to submit the request in writing to the head of the Admin unit. The form he had to request was called the "IDentification form 10 Type"

Seeing the face of the FNG requesting an "ID10T" form was priceless!

[Rex_Tremende]

I just heard that term for the first time last week. My team was discussing what was needed for a group of people who needed a set of instructions on how to do something. My colleague referred to it as the "ID10T guide."

As for the only noob prank I ever pulled, the joke was on a new voice student in my music department. She was about to head in for an audition with Ms. D______, who used to be Mrs. S______. I told her that despite the name on the door, she still went by her married name (Ms. D_____'s ex, Mr. S______, was also a professor on campus at the time). Other students in the lounge backed me up. So, the unwitting innocent walked in and greeted her with a big "Hello Mrs. S______!" The next notes that emanated from the studio were Ms. D_____'s and could best be described as howling.

Having been the target of many a prank myself, I'm not a big fan of humiliation. Nevertheless, they do serve a purpose, researchers say:

...practical jokes are far more commonly an effort to bring a person into a group, anthropologists have found — an integral part of rituals around the world intended to temper success with humility. And recent research suggests that the experience of being duped can stir self-reflection in a way few other experiences can, functioning as a check on arrogance or obliviousness.

Regards,
Rex.

[Jock Scot]

I well remember watching a drill Sergeant with a new bunch of recruits ask ever so nicely if any of them played a musical instrument.the conversation went something like this, "on the word of command anyone who can play a musical instument take one pace forward", so on the word of command half a dozen chaps took one pace foreward thinking that they were heading for the band, "right then" said the Sergeant," you lucky souls get yourselves to the Sergeants mess and move the piano!" Moral of the story---never volunteer.

[Finn]

I've used the ID10T myself, but I really like Squelch Grease.
Send the newbie down to the commo section to get a tube of squelch grease for the radios.
I can think of a few more, but I'll let the others share them.

[davedove]

Way back in my reserve unit, a fairly new Lieutenant wanted to take a vehicle out to see what the troops were doing. The First Sergeant was in the motor pool and told the Lt. that the vehicle the Lt. wanted was out of service because they hadn't replaced the winter air with summer air.

It actually took the Lt. a few moments before he caught what the 1st Sgt. was saying.

[Photoguy67]

I work for a trucking company and we are all the time telling the noobs to go get a trailer stretcher or a dock plate key.. It gets really fun when the supervisors start playing along and send them all around the dock asking this person or that one for a dock plate key.

[James MacMillan]

We had a few depending where we were:

When on the beach doing amphibious training we would send someone in search of the CGU - 11 (comes out to Sea Gull)

When doing helo ops someone would be sent for 300 yards of Flight Line.

When aboard ship, someone would invariably be posted to keep a look out for the Mail Buoy.

There were others, but those jump out of my memory right now.

[kilted in seattle]

From my Navy days (and not already mentioned here)

Relative Bearing Grease
Sound powered phone batteries
Crank for the forward mast (so we could go under the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel)
10 Yards of Stern Sheet

Someone tried to get me with a bucket of steam. We had some dry ice on board (for what, I don't remember) so I went to the galley and got some in a bucket. Once they had it, they weren't quite sure what to do with it.

The biggest one in the Army seemed to be grid squares. When I was a Fire Direction Control Section chief, one of my gun chiefs used to send privates up to my truck for grid squares. I decided to pay the guy back so I cut up a piece of chart paper, ensuring the grid lines were visible.

[MACKAY]

In Basic (Ft Dix NJ) in one of our first days in morning formation, the DI asked if anyone had a valid drivers license in New Jersey. A few hands immediately shot up in anticipation of getting to obviously drive something. The DI then asked them to step forward and thanked them for volunteering. He then pointed to a shed where they could pick and "drive" wheel barrows filled with gravel and go around filling in pot holes on the base roads for the remainder of the day!

[walkerk]

The usual Air Force pranks were to send the new guy off to locate a bucket of "prop wash", reel of "flight line", etc.

My all-time favorite was to take the noobie into the BUFF cockpit to fill out the maintenance log. Sitting in one of the "downstairs" bomb-nav seats, he would eventually pull a leg back and activate a downward ejection seat "ankle restraint" ( http://www.ejectionsite.com/b-52.htm#229 ), locking his leg tight to the seat. Upon hearing the distinctive click, the experienced guy would shout: "Oh, jeez! You've activated the ejection seat! Don't move a muscle or you could be rocketed straight down into the asphalt! Wait here while we get an egress systems specialist to deactivate it!" After a couple of cups of coffee, we would return to the shaking, sweat-dripping noob and and simply reach down and rotate the mechanical restraint back to the cocked position. Did it happen to me? You betcha!