I actually paid $20 to a mall kiosk in the '80's for a spurious computer-generated crest and two paragraph history.
According to the "history" my family had been respected Talmudists in Turkey before emigrating to Germany. Somehow we became Protestant.
The crest was a green field with an axe in a stump.
It just didn't jibe.
I have also seen the family name with "von" in front. We weren't Prussian or noble.