funeral piper's story

[Ancienne Alliance]

I don't know. A can opener and a small shovel. Just in case.

Can't be to careful.

AND a flashlight !

[Coemgen]

AND a flashlight !

Personally, I don't want to buried until they're damn sure I'm not getting up anytime soon.

Speaking of death humour, my brother, when he goes, wants, on his tombstone, the inscription "BRB."

[Rab Gordon]

At my father's funeral we brought along a good quantity of whisky, oatcakes and cheese which was served out of the back of the hearse, then we poured a wee dram into the grave so he could join us.

Rab

[Kiltedfirepiper]

I want my favorite pub closed down for the day, open bar, and an irish band ALL night long. ( I plan on putting it in my will....no payouts till it happens!!)

we put a bottle of crown royal in my grandfathers casket ( his fav. drink)

[Jack Daw]

Personally, I don't want to buried until they're damn sure I'm not getting up anytime soon.

Speaking of death humour, my brother, when he goes, wants, on his tombstone, the inscription "BRB."

Oh, the undertaker will see to that.

[Jack Daw]

At my father's funeral we brought along a good quantity of whisky, oatcakes and cheese which was served out of the back of the hearse, then we poured a wee dram into the grave so he could join us.

Rab

That's the way. I may revise my will.

[Standard]

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

I love that skit.

[PiobBear]

...a mourner found his way behind the curtains. He asked me if he could place ‘something’ into the deceased’s coffin. That’s beyond what I was hired to do and I referred him to the senior funeral director.

I couldn’t help but hear the request. The mourner, I know not if he was family/friend/other wanted to place a manually operated can opener into the (metal) coffin.

I piped the funeral for the guy who invented the TV dinner.

Halfway through the service, they poked a bunch of holes in the top of the casket and turned it the other way around.

[beowulf67]

I piped the funeral for the guy who invented the TV dinner.

Halfway through the service, they poked a bunch of holes in the top of the casket and turned it the other way around.

[george7]

It's nearly impossible to sleep through bagpipes. That's why we're hired for funerals. You can't fake dead through something that loud.