"Are you Scotch?"
No, and no thanks :P

"Are you 'seltic'?"
Sorry, but I never watch basketball, much less root for the Seltics. I am however Celtic. I am also a Celtic Reconstructionist, not that that means anything to YOOOUUU :P (Celtic Reconstructionists are people who try to revive the Religion, and culture of the Pre-Christian Celts).

"Are you Scottish?"
Nope, I am a patriotic citizen of the United States of America. However, on my dads side of the family approximately 8 generations ago, my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandmother was named, Pheobe McCrary. So I have very distant Scottish Ancestry. I am descended from the McCrary's and through them the MacRae clan.

"Are you a TRUE Scotsman?"
Sorry, I do not go without underwear, as in the United States if the wind accidentally caused my kilt to fly up uncontrollably, and I were naked underneath, I would be liable to be arrested on charges of indecent exposure to say the least. So I wear underwear. Also, anyone who tries to feel my crotch without my permission, is liable to get a punch in the face!

P.S. I liked these questions so much I had to do my own :P