Whilst riding motorcycles thru central Georgia, a couple years ago, I had a run-in with a malevolent little bug:

We were riding in a group of 7, with my wife on the back... when a sizeable insect flew up my sleeve, down my back, past my waist, and settle near my left cheek.
It was over 100 F, so we were already sweaty & miserable.This creature, which I have since named "Spawn of Satan", commenced to show his displeasure by chomping on my gluteal mass.
For 20 minutes I endured, squirming and wincing, before the rest of the pack pulled into a gas station for a break.
I jumped off the bike, barely putting down kickstand and shutting off the engine, and ran into the store. I found the bathroom, but it was occupied. Prancing and clenching my left buttock, I awaited the user to leave.
When the door opened, who should come out? MY WIFE! How the heck she got in there before me is still a mystery..
Needless to say, I hurriedly yanked my pants down and found the minion of evil that had leveled so much anger & pain upon my rear. Some kind of fiendish beetle, with mandibles the size of which seemed physically impossible. I saluted his valor, then gave him a "Viking Funeral".
The welts took several days to disappear.

Had I been wearing a kilt....