A little ticked....

**celtic cowboy** · 15th November 08, 07:53 AM

Thank you all for the comments. The comments made by my Mom took me bu surprise due to her telling me not to long ago that she saw how happy being kilted made me and how proud I am when in public I get a positive comment. My wife is very upset at her comments and the fact that she is useing our niece and nephew as her reason for the pants. I love my niece and nephew very much, however they are very spoiled and get whatever they want when they want it. My brother went so far as to make many "Skirt" comments at my son's birthday party. He believes that he knows best, and that no one will ever take me seriously in life if I wear a "Skirt" (as he will not call it a a kilt). My Mom and Sister-in-law almost allways wear pants, and I would never request that they wear a dress or skirt. I was even given grief at my own birthday dinner for going kilted. I feel this is more than a pride thing, yes I am full of pride, but how would they feel if I told them I would only go out with them if they cut their hair. My kilts have become who I am, after many years of wanting to be kilted, now having a very positive wife who suppots this makes me very happy. I was brought up to never judge a person by what the wore or what they looked like, however some where along the way my family became over the top when it comes to judge someone. Well I guess I got on a soap box again. It just saddens me that some of you who are only know me by screen name and some pics, would not blink and eye about being seen in public with me in a kilt, yet my familey treats me like a black sheep.

**Ian.MacAllan** · 15th November 08, 08:18 AM

There's a good bit of profound wisdom in these posts, even though some of them seem contradictory.

Your mother seems to have no respect for your right to set limits on what behavior you will tolerate in other people. I like TheKiltedCoder's suggestion but I would reverse the order: if your mother graciously accepts your being kilted at Thanksgiving you will agree to be breeched at Christmas. It is your mother who needs to establish her good faith; at this point it appears that her main interest is only control.

.

**Nighthawk** · 15th November 08, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by TheKiltedCoder

Something along the lines of, "Mom, you probably don't realize how much you hurt my feelings with the 'pants' comment, but I'll make a deal: I'll wear pants for Thanksgiving dinner, if you (and the rest of the family) will keep you mouths shut and not make any comments when I wear a kilt to Christmas. If you can't do that, it shows me that you don't value me as a person, and you only value me when I'm your puppet."

Lay it out plain and try to reach a compromise. If they're not willing to work with you after that, they're probably not the sort of family I'd be wanting to spend time with, anyway.

Brian

Dude!! That's brilliant! I'm so stuck in my ways, I didn't think about that.

**Nighthawk** · 15th November 08, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by celtic cowboy

Thank you all for the comments. The comments made by my Mom took me bu surprise due to her telling me not to long ago that she saw how happy being kilted made me and how proud I am when in public I get a positive comment. My wife is very upset at her comments and the fact that she is useing our niece and nephew as her reason for the pants. I love my niece and nephew very much, however they are very spoiled and get whatever they want when they want it. My brother went so far as to make many "Skirt" comments at my son's birthday party. He believes that he knows best, and that no one will ever take me seriously in life if I wear a "Skirt" (as he will not call it a a kilt). My Mom and Sister-in-law almost allways wear pants, and I would never request that they wear a dress or skirt. I was even given grief at my own birthday dinner for going kilted. I feel this is more than a pride thing, yes I am full of pride, but how would they feel if I told them I would only go out with them if they cut their hair. My kilts have become who I am, after many years of wanting to be kilted, now having a very positive wife who suppots this makes me very happy. I was brought up to never judge a person by what the wore or what they looked like, however some where along the way my family became over the top when it comes to judge someone. Well I guess I got on a soap box again. It just saddens me that some of you who are only know me by screen name and some pics, would not blink and eye about being seen in public with me in a kilt, yet my familey treats me like a black sheep.

My sister in law does the same with my nephews. I asked her once why she would intentionally teach her kids to be stupid. I try to teach my kids the most accurate information possible. It seems odd to me that parents would actually try to create ignorant, prejudiced kids. Ask your family why they would want to create those kinds of negative attitudes in yet another generation of human beings, because that's exactly the opposite of what we should be doing.

**Phicong** · 15th November 08, 08:28 AM

I am wierd, firstly, but I would comply and wear pants, yes. Bright pink slacks, a pea green jacket, a florescent purple tie and and bright and loud poka-dot shirt. I am sure that the outfit would be a source of enjoyment to all in the restaurant.
Gordon

**jackson1863** · 15th November 08, 08:42 AM

I would encourage you to make the decision that you would make if this was the last opportunity you would have to see you family. It may sound morbid, but you would make a decision you would never regret.

**TheKiltedCoder** · 15th November 08, 08:51 AM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Dude!! That's brilliant! I'm so stuck in my ways, I didn't think about that.

Thanks much!

On a more serious side, though, every time I read one of these posts, I sit back and am quietly thankful that neither my blood family nor my in-laws have ever given me any grief about being kilted.

Bri

**Coinneach** · 15th November 08, 09:03 AM

I'd go to Thanksgiving dinner with the family and wear a kilt and let grandma explain why she can't decide what another grown-up gets to wear. She made the promise. It's your mother's responsibility. You're there to enjoy your family. Your mother needs to put family before garment, too.

**hospitaller** · 15th November 08, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by Panache

Ultimately what is more important, a garment or family?

Cheers

Jamie

I've always found that argument flawed. Reason being, it works both ways.

If they want to treat the kilt as a costume, it is their problem. If we do treat it as what it is, a genuine piece of clothing, then we're absolutely in the right to wear and want to wear it.

I say, go kilted, what are they going to do...stop you from entering the restaurant? If they do...it speaks volumes of them, not of you.

**cessna152towser** · 15th November 08, 09:20 AM

I'd be worried that you are now a grown man with a wife and son of your own yet your mother is such a control freak that she thinks she can still dictate what you wear.
Yet she is still your mother and your son's grandmother and you should cherish her. One of my biggest regrets in life is that my parents are already dead yet I feel my own family is not yet complete, so any future kids of mine won't have their paternal grandparents around for them.
I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with her and explain to her that you are no longer her little boy for her to dress as she chooses, and that if you do go to the dinner and wear trousers this is only because you are choosing to respect the wishes of your very special mother and not because she insisted on it.