Idiot in a skirt!

[NewKilt]

Why argue with a stupid drunk? He looks like a fool to whoever hears what he has to say and therefore we look better by simply ignoring the dummy.

I agree

I had a stressful day and was very edgy...not in a forgiving mood

I'm very sorry this happened.

Robin,

We've all got our limits. Having a bad day at work and then trying to deal with a drunken fool that won't give up can really get on your last nerve. I would have probably went over to him and said , " I may wear a kilt and walk with a cane, but I'm a Vietnam veteran, do you really want to find out what I can still do with my left hand, Sweetheart?"

Darrell

[Tetley]

"I could tell you but you're not my type"
"why did you want to know?"
Look purplexed and then say" Why, it's kilt day of course"
"Why did you want a date?"
Or you can look at him like he's crazy and say"For the last time I just don't like you that way!"

Don't worry there's more to come.

I will probably never have the courage to say any of these, but please, keep them coming.

...I once told a guy that he was confused. A Kilt is what a man wears.
A skirt is what his girlfriend leaves wadded up on the floor when she meets a man in a kilt.

A more civilized response comes from a signature I've seen on this board (and I apoligize in advance that I don't remember who had it...)
It was
"Son, someday you will make a girl very happy for a short period of time.
Then she'll leave you and be with new men who are ten times better than you could ever hope to be.
These men wear kilts."

Clever, very clever...

I just say, "Boys wear pants. Men wear kilts." On occasion I've even said to women who have said it's a skirt, "Yes...and it's prettier than yours."

That might get you a clip round the ear...

"Hey! I like your skirt"

"Thanks! All the ladies do!"

Subtle, that's both respectful and insulting at the same time. I like it.

Mark

[Galb]

My response has always been "It's a kilt, not a skirt." But that is to the polite people, usually ladies who make the honest mistake. After the correction they usually get a tad embarrassed, to which I assure them that no insult has been made as it was an honest mistake.

Now, as for the jack ***, that's a different story. If I get the drunken, or non-drunken idiot who wants to call me out, I am more than happy to oblige. I will simply turn to them and respond, "This is a kilt. Men wear kilts. And you'd better believe that if I have the proper stones to wear these, I also have the stones to back it up. Now, do you still want to call it a skirt?" I would say this with a smirk of course, therefore insinuating that I am joking about. I've never had to use this. All the comments thrown my way have been pleasant.

On another note, at my wife's work her boss mentioned to her that he saw a guy walking one day in our town kilted. He had seen me in one, and of course, made the jokes to assure his manhood was secure. Every jab was met in response and it was all in good fun. Anyway, on this day he mentioned to my wife that the guy in the kilt he saw walked with a certain strut, and a bit fast. A lady close by in the office mentioned "He probably walks fast so as not to get his butt kicked." My wife simply turned around and said "I think it would be the other way around there. Men who have the balls to wear kilts more often than not are the ones that can also back it up." The conversation ended right there.

[Galb]

"Do you really want your freinds saying that you got your A$$ kicked by a guy in a skirt?"

You know, this is a great one. But what is funnier is the reaction AFTER the *** kicking. I would bet any amount of money the conversation would go like this:

Friend 1: Dude, what happened?
Idiot: I picked a fight with a guy in a kilt...
Friend 1: You got your *** kicked by a guy in a skirt?!
Idiot: NO! I got my *** kicked by a guy in a kilt! Not a skirt!

[+++ Argyll +++]

I once told a guy that he was confused. A Kilt is what a man wears.
A skirt is what his girlfriend leaves wadded up on the floor when she meets a man in a kilt.

This is the best answer that i've been heard ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Pretty damn good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[george7]

You all are much nicer than me, my reaction is usually giving the idiot a chair to the head.

That's because you're BIG Dave and not 'Average Sized' George.

A good way to avoid this situation in the first place is to wear a kilt that doesn't look like a skirt. It's tempting to call some of the kilts that fall under the 'kilt don't' category 'skirt-like'

[Splash_4]

Holy thread resurrection batman.... This one is two years old.

[Jack Daw]

In a pub in which someone is outspoken enough to bring attention to my kilt with a negative attitude is probably too drunk to comprehend any response back; so, he gets my understanding, forgiveness and my silence. Besides, I only care what women say.

[Phogfan86]

"...I don't know how I would have reacted - since my physical disability would not let me engage in a fight. I might have wacked the guy with my cane..."

I read this, looked at your avatar and then read you're a Viet Nam vet. I have a funny feeling you remember enough hand-to-hand to go William Wallace on his a** with that aluminum cane.

There's a story that once, in battle, Robert the Bruce brought his axe down on an enemy's head so hard it broke the axe handle. After it happened, his men rallied around this amazing feat, and all Robert could do was grouse that he'd broken a really nice axe.

I have a feeling you'd break your cane.

[Geoff Withnell]

When a fool and a drunk are arguing, how can you tell them apart? The drunk may sober up.

How do you know it's a fool and a drunk? Only a fool would argue with a drunk.

Geoff Withnell

I know about drunks. After I got back from Southeast Asia, I was one until my Lady straightened me out.