A little ticked....

[Spartan]

Celtic Cowboy & Sathor: My heart goes out to both of you. As I recall, the commandment to honor your mother and father, in its origin, had to do with protecting them in their old age. That is in a society in which the weak are put aside. (Sometimes the elderly are still treated that way.) It doesn't mean as adults to allow your parents to control you or use you as a doormat. As parents, our responsibility is to raise our children to be responsible adults with the tools they need to be successful in adult life. Once grown, it's up to them to live their lives. As parents of adult children, we learn the art of keeping some of our thoughts to ourselves.

Celtic Cowboy: Thank you for your service as a paramedic and police officer. I believe the wages you received are shocking! As a one-time police chaplain, I have the highest regard for those who serve us as EMT's, police officers, fire fighters, etc. I hope that you get back into the field that you love. Your mother should be proud.

There are certainly advantages and disadvantages of living close to parents. This is a downside.

BTW, I grew up in Michigan. We're pretty good people. (My parents retired near Ann Arbor in Saline.)

[Jack Daw]

Good for you, CC, for sticking to your guns.

[Tetley]

It does make me sad, I tried to tell my family it is not about the pay. But they never could understand. I made $7 an hr working as a Police officer and $9 and hr as a paramedic, but I think if I made a million $'s they would still find a problem with it. That is just the way they are. No matter the roads I chose to travel in life they will allways think I should go their way not my own. I chose to take a year away from public service when we moved here due to the fact I was getting a little burned out, 14yrs in EMS does that to you. One of my last calls before moving was the loss of a baby, I have delt with this many times before but this time it hit me hard. I saw myself getting to be cold with people, and I was not sure if it was right for me anymore. A couple of weeks ago I was out to lunch with my Mother and son when a elderly woman behind us began to have some serious medical issues, I did not think twice about helping her and explaing to her husband what was going on and that we needed to call an ambulace for her. I felt better than I have in some time, so this was my sign, it's time to get back to giving to people what I love, help. I know this now, that helping people is what I was ment to do. If my family never uderstands, so be it. I have seen alot of bad things happen to good people, and been the one they called to help them, sometimes I could, and somtimes I had to give them bad news, but I can always say good or bad at least I was there to try. Well enough of this , I hope to be back in the seat soon. Thanks for the ear, any of you ever need to vent I am here.

Kudos to you.

I loved the photo of you, your wife and son. Like many others here I think you all looked great.

I also applaud your choice to walk your own path in the matter of the family meal.

I also appreciate beyond words your service to the people around you as a police office and EMT. I hope that you both are soon able to take you the jobs you desire.

Having said that I hope never to need your services!

Bravo!

Mark

[Thunderbolt]

I haven't been keeping up on this, but now I've had the time to catch up.

What a shame that our very own family can often be our biggest headaches!

One of the best things I did was move 1400 miles away from my family. It was also one of the hardest things to do. I visit often as I can, but everytime I do, I'm somewhat thankful that I do live a ways away.

I would hope that our parents would love us unconditionally. That's pretty much a given. But also to accept us for who we are.

Good on those who make a decision and go with it. Right or wrong, at least they're willing to take a chance to be happy with who they are, and live with the consequences.

My parents/family learned a long time ago that if they would like to continue to have me and my wife in their lives, they have to accept us for who we are.

A friend of mine made a comment years ago that still sticks with me today: "I choose to surround myself with people who I want to be around"

I don't understand why someone would want to spend time around people who aren't very nice to us. Family or no.

Of course, we should try and make an effort to at least get along with our own family. To a point.

Thunderbolt

[CDNSushi]

I've been following this thread since the beginning, and what's really interesting is this crazy, ludicrous emotional roller-coaster ride that some parents seem to thrive on. I just had to "clip n' save" some of the excerpts from Celtic Cowboy's mother's e-mail as well as sathor's mother's mail, because my wife's mother sends the same crap -- just about verbatim! I'm serious, if someone showed me the following snippets and didn't tell me that they weren't from my mother-in-law, I'd wouldn't believe it!

Celtic Cowboy's mother:

I was very disappointed and hurt that...

...showed a lack of respect and caring for me...

...too much for me to deal with...

...you ask that we respect you and yet even for one day you chose not to respect how I felt...

Sathor's mother:

...I am pouring my soul out to you please stop and think about what you are doing...

...I love you but you have some issues you need to resolve...

...not being so hateful...

The resemblance is just uncanny!!! The only difference with my wife's family, is that they say these things not about kilt-wearing, but just about us and our lives in general. Here's an excerpt of my own (received 2 wks ago from the m.i.l.):

...I know I try very hard and I know dad and *(wife's sister)* both feel I try. They also feel Iam the scapegoat and that I take the most flak.

I just wish you would be nice to me...

Its a teribble thing to a mother to not be wanted.

The tone I hear when you speak or as in this letter is painful too. I don't find it very kindly written and you need to try and not be so condesending. Iam nearly crying again. you are so HARD.

And that's the way it goes. Week after week. Month after month. Year after year. You'd think we were the worst offspring in the world by reading this stuff. My wife is often at her wit's end with this crap too. She often tells me, "How can I get adopted into another family?" I chuckle when she says it, but she's often told me, "No, I'm serious! If I could get adopted into another family -- I would! You think I could put an ad in the paper for a new mother?"

So, take heart Celtic Cowboy & Sathor -- you're not alone! We have our share of family weirdness too. I don't even want to think about the e-mails we'd start getting if the wife's family knew I walked around kilted.

[sathor]

Ha! My mom would never use the word flak. I have other odd emails from her, the funny thing is she emails me about something where she is angry, then 5 minutes later sends me something she needs printed out. (She also CC's the emails to my sister and my grandparents in SC (not her parents, mind you, and they like kilts!)

I've been following this thread since the beginning, and what's really interesting is this crazy, ludicrous emotional roller-coaster ride that some parents seem to thrive on. I just had to "clip n' save" some of the excerpts from Celtic Cowboy's mother's e-mail as well as sathor's mother's mail, because my wife's mother sends the same crap -- just about verbatim! I'm serious, if someone showed me the following snippets and didn't tell me that they weren't from my mother-in-law, I'd wouldn't believe it!
The resemblance is just uncanny!!! The only difference with my wife's family, is that they say these things not about kilt-wearing, but just about us and our lives in general. Here's an excerpt of my own (received 2 wks ago from the m.i.l.):

[Nighthawk]

The more I read about other people's families, the more I love my own. You folks make me sad for you, but you help me to appreciate the great family that I have- both the blood reletives and the in-laws.

[Bugbear]

The more I read about other people's families, the more I love my own. You folks make me sad for you, but you help me to appreciate the great family that I have- both the blood reletives and the in-laws.

Yes, Nighthawk, you should be very thankful you get along all right with most of your family.

[McFarkus]

CC - you and your family look amazing in the photos. I think you did an excellent thing:

You honored your family by showing up for Thanksgiving dinner knowing the kind of reaction you were likely to receive; at the same time, you honored yourself by going kilted. Kudos!

[Cherub]

It does make me sad, I tried to tell my family it is not about the pay. But they never could understand. I made $7 an hr working as a Police officer and $9 and hr as a paramedic, but I think if I made a million $'s they would still find a problem with it. That is just the way they are. No matter the roads I chose to travel in life they will allways think I should go their way not my own. I chose to take a year away from public service when we moved here due to the fact I was getting a little burned out, 14yrs in EMS does that to you. One of my last calls before moving was the loss of a baby, I have delt with this many times before but this time it hit me hard. I saw myself getting to be cold with people, and I was not sure if it was right for me anymore. A couple of weeks ago I was out to lunch with my Mother and son when a elderly woman behind us began to have some serious medical issues, I did not think twice about helping her and explaing to her husband what was going on and that we needed to call an ambulace for her. I felt better than I have in some time, so this was my sign, it's time to get back to giving to people what I love, help. I know this now, that helping people is what I was ment to do. If my family never uderstands, so be it. I have seen alot of bad things happen to good people, and been the one they called to help them, sometimes I could, and somtimes I had to give them bad news, but I can always say good or bad at least I was there to try. Well enough of this , I hope to be back in the seat soon. Thanks for the ear, any of you ever need to vent I am here.

My friend you are not the black sheep in your family but the White among the black, you show that with your words and actions.

Keep up the good work.