Here's Your Sign

[KiltedBrewer]

I used to work on a live-aboard dive cruise in the Bahamas and the best two I've heard are

Is there water on the other side of that island?

and

What keeps the islands from floating away?

And these were from scuba divers who've actually seen what islands look like from under water!

David

[johnnym]

I have a sister-in-law who once asked "Who rakes the leaves in the forest?" She was dead serious as only a city slicker could be.

[O'Callaghan]

I've got one;


"How long have you been in the U.S.? Say something in Australian" ()

That's like the Motor Vehicle Administration asking me if my British driving licence was in English. No, it's in French ...

I also have my own New Mexico story. In my first US job there was an office clerk who had lived in Virginia all her life and thought New Mexico was in Mexico. None of the (numerous) foreign employees made the same mistake, not a single one! It was at this point that we suspected that geography education here might be a bit lacking. Now, nearly 20 years later and with two kids in the school system here we no longer think it, we know it for a fact, LOL!

[Cherub]

Mine was when i was working in a Hotel accounting dept. the System crashed so i went over to it an called support, The front office manager came running in and shooed me out of the way and started to talk to support they told him to try somthing and knowing the support people as i did i said to the controller who was standing beside me "it's not going to work" 2 seconds later the front office manager said on the phone "it didn't work"

eventually after a few more missteps he got it restarting and asked me (the person who had worked as a night auditor for 5 years with the same system and was used to restarting without support about twice a month or so) "can you take it from here.........:buttkick: yeah i think so.

I later got fired from that hotel because I knew more about the system than the system operator and managers....go figure.

[JS Sanders]

Here're some of the more frequent delta alpha questions & statements I've accumulated over the years.

“Are those bagpipes real?”

“I have some bagpipes that cost $175 – can you show me how to play them?”

"No kidding? Songs other than Amazing Grace can be played on the bagpipes?"

“I didn’t know bagpipes could be tuned.”

”Can I try playing your pipes?”

"Are you Scottish?" (I’m from Memphis)

“Are you Irish?” (I’m from Memphis)

"Is Ireland in Scotland?"

"Is Scotland in Ireland?"

"Is Scotland in England?"

"Is your kilt real?"

"Ever been to Brigadoon?"

"I've visited Glasgow Castle."

“Have you ever heard of 'Highland Games'?”

“I play the _______. Bagpipes would be easy to learn.”

“Really? There's actually 'written music' for bagpipes?”

Slan yall,
steve

[KiltedKop45]

anything about Kilts in this ???????
No wonder I haven't been here in a while. I havn't missed a thing.

[Nighthawk]

That's like the Motor Vehicle Administration asking me if my British driving licence was in English. No, it's in French ...

Really? Napoleon is a sneaky SOB...

[ozone]

6) This from a 'Frisco native: "We've had a cabin there for over 20 years, but you know, you guys should never have legalized civil unions!" (Hmmm . . )

Well, folks in FRISCO, Colorado may not be as liberal as you might think. Now, if you meant to say SAN FRANCISCO, that's another story.

As a native San Franciscan, I can say that calling it "frisco" is like calling your country a c....to quote those clever frat boys out there (Oops, I meant "Fraternity")

[Sionnach]

When we lived in Roswell, NM we experienced all the same questions that BroosterB1 talked about. Actually, it was quite frustrating at times- especially when trying to get healthcare insurance approval for some minor surgery for one of the kids.

Roswell, NM was a different place entirely for us transplants from the Bay Area of California. Here's one that I experienced at our bank there- Norwest it was called-

From the bank manager- "Yes we have branches in all 50 states, and also Hawaii."


When my dad, who was born and raised in NYbut worked in the western states, retired he and his wife built a home at the base of the Colorado Monument in Grand Junction, CO. When my uncle, his brother, came to visit him from Rhode Island he wanted to know why dad had planted so much cactus on his property.

[Squeaky McMurdo]

My dad keeps sending me love notes on Yahoo Messenger intended for his girlfriend in China....

getting love notes from your father is CREEPY!