Murder in the Great Hall

[Clockwork John]

“I’ll bite. What’s your secret?”

[Wompet]

With great delight,I lifted my hem using a move I learned at the Parisienne Follies. Everyone in front of me could now see my prize, my joy - a pair of brightest, pink-est boxers to ever dazzle the eye.

“I, being the love of Jamie’s life, will join him in the Great Beyond because I just can't live without him.”
Wompet gives a couple of great lurching sobs, but then draws himself upright.
“But until then, *sob* I will feel closer to him by wearing his underpants."

I leaned forward, my hem tucked under my chin.
“You know, it's spooky how my li'l Big Daddy still seemed so alive. It’s like when you go to a wake and you swear you see the dead body breathing but you’re forced to kneel by the coffin and say a prayer anyways!”

[davedove]

“You lunatic!” Mr. Dove yells as he angrily grabs Mr. Wompet. He starts to drag the man from the room.

“I am going to get you out of that underwear so that I can re-dress that poor half-naked dead man.”

He drags Mr. Wompet out of the room, who is screaming in protest the whole time.

[Weasel Mender]

BOOM

Ens. Mender just lit a large firecracker to wake the authors

[Wompet]

[flipping through script - "Big entrance - check ... can-can - check ... Dave and Wompet exeunt stage right - check ... scribbling in notebook? That's not me - I'm after that. Good, I didn't miss my cue."]

[Pleater]

I'm not even in this bit.

[starbkjrus]

******Alert Alert Alert******

Dave is busy this week so I would not expect an update at least for another week or so.

We now return you to OTHER previously scheduled threads.

***Edit***
Oh well in that case sorry, carry on carrying on.

[Pleater]

But it isn't davedove's turn yet.

we are not at the end of the last part of the script.

That is why I'm not here.

[Clockwork John]

[flipping through script - "Big entrance - check ... can-can - check ... Dave and Wompet exeunt stage right - check ... scribbling in notebook? That's not me - I'm after that. Good, I didn't miss my cue."]

You didn't, but apparently I did... Let's get this story back on track.

Scribbling in my notebook and talking to myself, “Powerful Moderator’s estranged lover forced to loot body for memento.”

[Wompet]

The sounds of furniture being violently moved come from the room Davedove and Wompet disappeared into. Then the screaming begins ...
"How dare you handle me in such a manner! You, sir, are no gentleman!"
A chair scrapes on the tile floor.
"Stay where you are! Stay back!"
A body crashes into a chair, splintering it.
"Hah! You missed! You can't catch me, you can't catch m-" THUD.
"Help! Help! Somebody get him off me!"
More scraping furniture, and something falls over - possibly a china closet.
"Help! Help! I'm being repressed! No, not the rubber chicken! ANYTHING BUT THE RUBBER CHICKEN!!"
The sound of something metallic - a serving tray, perhaps? - hitting something.
SILENCE.