Where does one draw a line?

[Alan H]

Before any number people go on about me advocating slugging everyone who looks at you crosswise when you have a kilt on....or saying "violence never solves anything".

1. I'm not advocating attempting to solve all problems by smacking anybody. Sathor ought to tell the guy to knock it off, that he doesn't appreciate the comments. Be direct and firm, but not a jerk about it. Do that several times, even. Then, tell him and be a jerk about it. After that, find ways to just not have to see the guy. Let his wife know that not only Sathor, but other members of the family don't appreciate his comments and attitude. If after many months of that, the guy doesn't get it, and still has to make "comments", then it seems reasonable to assume that his head is impermeable to information presented by anything less than a hammer, so use the hammer.

2. "violence doesn't solve anything". I disagree. In all my days I only did it once, and it was decades ago, but I laid a guy out for giving me untold grief for months on end, and son of a gun...he stopped giving me grief, and wow but the guy went on to be an upstanding citizen, hold jobs, raise kids and generally get on just fine in life. Seems like that 60 seconds around 1978 didn't ruin his life or unmake the world, you know?

It's a last resort, eh?

It seems kind of strange to be proud of our "Fighting Ancestors" and the non-stop Clan Feuding for a couple of hundred years....which sounds an awful lot like gang wars over turf to me...to put it bluntly... rather than high and might noble causes.... and yet pitch a fit over educating a jerk about his behavior by smacking him in the snotlocker.

[Raphael]

Being Violence with this person will not solve any problem, it may just escalate the situation.

It reminds me a story about bullying in School:

September, 2007

Two Nova Scotia students are being praised across North America for the way they turned the tide against the bullies who picked on a fellow student for wearing pink.

The victim — a Grade 9 boy at Central Kings Rural High School in the small community of Cambridge — wore a pink polo shirt on his first day of school.

David Shepherd, left, and Travis Price decided to spread word of their 'sea of pink' campaign on the internet.David Shepherd, left, and Travis Price decided to spread word of their 'sea of pink' campaign on the internet.


Bullies harassed the boy, called him a homosexual for wearing pink and threatened to beat him up, students said.

Two Grade 12 students — David Shepherd and Travis Price — heard the news and decided to take action.

"I just figured enough was enough," said Shepherd.

They went to a nearby discount store and bought 50 pink shirts, including tank tops, to wear to school the next day.

'Sea of pink' support

Then the two went online to e-mail classmates to get them on board with their anti-bullying cause that they dubbed a "sea of pink."

But a tsunami of support poured in the next day.

Not only were dozens of students outfitted with the discount tees, but hundreds of students showed up wearing their own pink clothes, some head-to-toe.

The two Grade 12 students show off the pink shirts they wore to school.The two Grade 12 students show off the pink shirts they wore to school.


When the bullied student, who has never been identified, walked into school to see his fellow students decked out in pink, some of his classmates said it was a powerful moment. He may have even blushed a little.

"Definitely it looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. He went from looking right depressed to being as happy as can be," said Shepherd.

And there's been nary a peep from the bullies since, which Shepherd says just goes to show what a little activism will do.

"If you can get more people against them … to show that we're not going to put up with it and support each other, then they're not as big as a group as they think are," he says.

The students' "sea of pink" campaign did not go unnoticed outside the province. U.S. talk show host Ellen DeGeneres expressed interest in their story, and other schools are talking about holding their own "pink day."

"It's been totally overwhelming for us. I mean we're just two local boys and I mean we're getting calls from like Alaska and e-mails. It's just phenomenal the support that we've gotten from across the globe," said Price.

The school principal, understandably, was flush with pride.

"You're always hearing about the youth of the world and how bad things are. Well, they're not that bad," said Stephen Pearl.


If our youths can solve bullying peacefully, why can't we do the same.

[Brother Falldown]

I don know. It sounds to me like the "individual" is generally disliked by all regardless of what you are wearing. While I normally eschew violence his comments may present an opportunity to give him a well deserved thrashing.

I do stay out of the mall my mom has a store in while kilted, (though the courtesy is wearing thin...) but anyways.... my wife's sister married a guy that most of the family wished she hadn't, for many reasons. Anyways, at the family gathering for the Jan~March B-days at a local O'Charleys, I wore my SWK Gordon. The guy shows up (he changed his mind at the last minute, then arrived with my SIL about an hour late.) and orders his food finally, and I get up to take my son to the restroom. First thing he says is 'Oh God he's wearing that thing again."

First off, I really don't like him. I also think he may be colorblind. Last time he saw me in a kilt I had a red kilt on, very different than a green one. But at any rate...

We really wonder, as it is mentioned on here many times, that some people feel their masculinity is threatened by seeing another guy in a kilt. The issue becomes a bit more of interest in that as far as we know, he has no siblings. His dad later, to put it nicely, was drafted to another team. I think he takes the threats a little internally, but that's a guess. We think he's a schmuck, most of us anyways, and if he switched teams, I doubt many of us would care, beyond his wife. (Ok, there might be a secret party if it happened, we wouldn't let my sister in law know about it though.)

So, where is the balance in where you either conform for prick that just finally started showing up to family things after about 5+ years of skipping (and making his wife (Fiance for most of those years) also skip) most if not all family events.

Funny thing is, there are a few on my wife's side that I almost would bet that would pool up money for a tank for me if my wearing a kilt did get him to change teams. They really want to be rid of him.

I think I'll just ignore his discomfort, it's a lot more fun that way.

[Detroitpete]

It seems like I usually wind up agree with Alan on most posts--this one isn't any different. I don't advocate being a meat headed jerk and growling at anyone who casts a sideways glance at you, but wishing something would change without acting to make it change only ties you up in knots.

I live in Detroit and like Big Paul here has on his signature--I wear a kilt IN Detroit. No not some pastoral suburb--the city. The closest I've come to squaring off on a guy was when said lad kept digging at me while out at a pub with friends. At first I laughed it off. He kept it up. I bought him a beer (my wife was already giving me the you-better-not look).

He kept it up. I told him that yes, he was funny and probably in his mind the most amusing chap in the establishment and told him that anymore would lead to me not being so polite.

He kept it up and began making everyone uncomfortable, including his friends.

I stood next to him and got close enough to speak quietly and said "Either outside or shut up" I told his friends that the lad may be leaving them for a spell. I went and opened the door for him.

He sat quietly and muttered something. I came back--bought his table a round and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

When his table was leaving, a few of them came up and said they were sorry and that their friend was a jerk.

Laugh it off. Then speak plainly and clearly. Then decide if your last resort is to walk away (and still deal with the same thing next time) or do something so he knows where the line is if he chooses to cross it.

Just my opinion--but the same thing I would tell a friend, son or brother.

[Alan H]

Well, you might try Raphaels' solution. Buy Stillwater Kilts Thrifty's for everyone in the family but him and show up at the next family gathering with EVERYBODY kilted. Maybe that will shut him up.

From your description, of the guy I doubt it, but you never know.

[CDNSushi]

What he needs is a sound thrashing with an organic leek.

Jeez... What a waste of a perfectly good leek!

[Nighthawk]

Being Violence with this person will not solve any problem, it may just escalate the situation.

It reminds me a story about bullying in School:

September, 2007

Two Nova Scotia students are being praised across North America for the way they turned the tide against the bullies who picked on a fellow student for wearing pink.

The victim — a Grade 9 boy at Central Kings Rural High School in the small community of Cambridge — wore a pink polo shirt on his first day of school.

David Shepherd, left, and Travis Price decided to spread word of their 'sea of pink' campaign on the internet.David Shepherd, left, and Travis Price decided to spread word of their 'sea of pink' campaign on the internet.


Bullies harassed the boy, called him a homosexual for wearing pink and threatened to beat him up, students said.

Two Grade 12 students — David Shepherd and Travis Price — heard the news and decided to take action.

"I just figured enough was enough," said Shepherd.

They went to a nearby discount store and bought 50 pink shirts, including tank tops, to wear to school the next day.

'Sea of pink' support

Then the two went online to e-mail classmates to get them on board with their anti-bullying cause that they dubbed a "sea of pink."

But a tsunami of support poured in the next day.

Not only were dozens of students outfitted with the discount tees, but hundreds of students showed up wearing their own pink clothes, some head-to-toe.

The two Grade 12 students show off the pink shirts they wore to school.The two Grade 12 students show off the pink shirts they wore to school.


When the bullied student, who has never been identified, walked into school to see his fellow students decked out in pink, some of his classmates said it was a powerful moment. He may have even blushed a little.

"Definitely it looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. He went from looking right depressed to being as happy as can be," said Shepherd.

And there's been nary a peep from the bullies since, which Shepherd says just goes to show what a little activism will do.

"If you can get more people against them … to show that we're not going to put up with it and support each other, then they're not as big as a group as they think are," he says.

The students' "sea of pink" campaign did not go unnoticed outside the province. U.S. talk show host Ellen DeGeneres expressed interest in their story, and other schools are talking about holding their own "pink day."

"It's been totally overwhelming for us. I mean we're just two local boys and I mean we're getting calls from like Alaska and e-mails. It's just phenomenal the support that we've gotten from across the globe," said Price.

The school principal, understandably, was flush with pride.

"You're always hearing about the youth of the world and how bad things are. Well, they're not that bad," said Stephen Pearl.


If our youths can solve bullying peacefully, why can't we do the same.

Here's the problem with this- it's newsworthy! That means it doesn't happen often. If this worked on a regular basis, no one would care enough to write about it. The sad truth is that there are occasionally people you just can't reason with. I had one of those at work. I gave him no end of literature from Matt Newsome, I told him that it was a matter of pride in my culture and heritage, and it did no good. I finally had to file a sexual harassment complaint when he stuck his hand up my kilt and grabbed my butt. That stopped it, but the point is that I had to finally hit him over the head with something that hurt- sexually harassing another man.

[sathor]

I need to point out two things.

1. He didn't have the guts to say it to my face, didn't even talk to most of the group that night.

2. He has a bum knee. I think I know which one it is. If I am wrong, if that time comes, he'll have two bum knees.

[sathor]

What he needs is a sound thrashing with an organic leek.

I missed that part of the comment before. Are you referencing Farfetch'd the Pokemon?