Since I started the thread I guess I should participate. My old writing professor always said that "the limerick was the poet's sole outlet for vulgarity"' so here goes:

Dedicated to Riverkilt:

Kiltmakers sweat over tartan,
From their pleatin' and tuckin' and dartin',
Private parts free and breezier,
Certain necessities easier,
Like scr*win' and peein' and fartin'.