The XMTS Limmericks Thread

[BEEDEE]

At work I am generally known
As the 'kilt on kampus'. Alone
in my attire
and liable to satire
Most students, away are just blown


Brian


:ootd:

[ccga3359]

dee dee DUM dee dee DUM dee dee DUM
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM dee dee DUM
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM dee dee DUM

I'll admit that your submission rhymes and has a certain flow but to me this is cheating.

Oh crap! Now it's stuck in my head.

[Alan H]

Now, never was kilted, was Shakespeare
though with verse he was familiar and sincere.
But if couplets he had rhymed
regarding tartans, sublime
then the costuming might have changed for King Lear.

(I've never actually seen a production of MacBeth, would be curious what the costumers do with it....)

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

I'm really most quite out of breath,
From watching poor Banquo's death.
The king's dagger did plunge
Through his heart and his lung,
It's my favorite part of The Scottish Play!

(If you are an actor, it rhymes...)

[kiltedsawyer]

Ah yes, the Scottish Play.......well done.

At rhyming I'm really an amateur,
And better at iambic pentameter.
But limericks are fun,
I just can't think of one,
Thing that rhymes with iambic pentameter.

Humbly submitted by,
David

[smaughazard]

OK, I'll play…

There once was a fellow called Hamish
Who thought suits were all quite the same-ish.
But the kilts he adored,
And collected a horde,
So now he just never looks lame-ish!

[piperdbh]

We all know a fellow named Ron
Who goes around with a kilt on.
The single gals flock,
And giggle, "You rock!"
And now he's the Desert Don Juan.

[TatterDel]

There once was a man named Schlup,
Who went to 'The Celtic Cup'.
He spent all his money
On tea without honey
Than wished he had coffee in his cup.
----------
There once was an old woman named Pete,
She went to 'The Celtic Cup' to eat.
Ordered tarts made with figs
And she danced several jigs
Than exhausted, she sat in her seat.
----------
There once was a woman from Oklahoma,
Who moved to the town of Tullahoma.
With creama so thick
It could hold up a stick
Her espresso was better than Tacoma's.
----------
There once was a woman named Denise,
Whose heart was very at peace.
She owned 'The Celtic Cup'
Where all her friends came to sup
And the Barista was her beautiful niece.
----------
There once was a Barista named Chris,
Who could create your every espresso wish.
He could pull shots like the 'tail of mouse'
At The Celtic Cup Coffee House
And serve it with a pastry on a dish.
----------
I know the meter is off in those last two for sure.

I wrote these for the Open House on St Patrick's Day when we finally opened our dream business... The Celtic Cup Coffee House, Tullahoma, TN.
The local paper picked up on the connection and offered us the exclusive sponsorship of their poetry contest. The winners will be reading their work at The Celtic Cup at the end of this month (www.tullahomanews.com)

[Colonel MacNeal]

There was a young man from Dundee,
Who stopped in the heather to pee,
He slipped in his piddle,
His zipper caught middle,
Henceforth kilted he prefers to be.

[Phil]

Here is my humble contribution. Maybe it could be the answer many are seeking ...

There once was a kiltie called Phil
Whose white hose were making him ill
But rather than cry
He bought tartan dye
And everyone now thinks they’re brill!