A bit of advice?

[Fit2BKilted]

My problem is that I would like to make an X-Kilt over the summer if I can find the time. The only thing is that my mom is rather antagonistic to the idea of me making, let alone wearing a kilt. Any ideas on how to convince her otherwise?

I'm suspecting that there are unvoiced underlying issues here that are colouring your Mum's perspectives... Perhaps if you share any that you can think of, you may get some more useful advice for justifying your desires to her.

However, if you're at all Scottish, the lure of DIY kilt-making (to save on cost) is in your blood... I know that I've considered learning to sew with a machine, for no other reason than to satisfy my in-born thrifty instincts. ;)

I love kilts simply because they're infinitely more comfortable than pants of any kind---women couldn't possibly fully understand why; although watching a live game at the local AAA baseball diamond might illuminate many---and my wife sympathizes (she happens to prefer wearing skirts to slacks, and envies the social acceptability of men-in-kilts to eschew panty-hose, when she does so).

Kilt On! You're obviously already a relatively self-assured man to be pursuing your dream to demonstrate it in spite of discouraging circumstances---my support is fully with you---and, I'd be happy to help manage Mum's expectations, if you care to shed some light on the facts.

Good Luck to you!

[Fit2BKilted]

superior advice from moon. just about says it all. well put!

Well said, Moon!

[Fit2BKilted]

But the way adults have conversations is different, too. Coming out and demanding that parents speak to their children like an adults isn't going to get anyone very far unless the child starts using adult-like language. Instead of asking "why" or "why not," try asking "Tell me what your concerns are; I'd like to discuss this so I understand where you're coming from." It's hard to refuse a request like this (it's actually a request in the imperative mood) and come out looking like the adult.

At work I rarely ask someone a bald "why." I usually ask, "How'd you come to that conclusion?" or "What's your thinking behind that?" or "What's the result that you are expecting?" These are open-ended questions that invite specific discussion. Though it appears to be open-ended, "Why?" is a conversation killer. Why? Because it signals resistance and sets up conflict. Because authority figures are conditioned to respond, "Because!", after which there is nothing left to discuss.

Instead, I have to let the other person know I'm open to what they have to say, and not allow my opinions on the matter get in the way of listening. It's not until I'm sure I understand (and that they know I understand) their position on things that I'm in a position to respond to them. They might be right. We might actually agree. I might be able to get them to see another angle on it once I know which direction they are looking. I might see something I hadn't considered before which could keep me out of trouble later.

Sometimes I can influence people to get to a conclusion that works for both of us. Sometimes, depending on the relationship, I have to accept that they have more authority than I do, and though I don't agree with them, I have to carry out their wishes. In these cases, I will sure do my darndest to make certain that we each have a clear understanding of one another.

Good luck with your projects, and keep us posted?
Rex.

Taking this approach will surely get you some much-needed information from your Mum, if she can be reasoned with.

[ChubRock]

You can always make one for me and see if the concept grows on her.

[Generica]

My mom said no, and left it at that. She's quite against the idea of me wearing a kilt. Or anyone outside of Scotland, apparently. I think it's best that I say "screw it," and quit now, before it gets in the way of anything else. Unfortunate, but apparently, my mom's not going to budge on this. Thanks to everyone who posted.

Sincerely,
-Generica

[Moon]

A couple of years and you will be your own man - just hang tight. I wanted my ears pierced and my mom said now - I did it on my 18th birthday. But as long as you live under your parent's roof it's their rules...for the most part.

Hang tough,

Moon

[Phicong]

Generica,
You wrote," I don't think that would work, as I'm rather attached to my safety, and there's not really any "bad neighborhoods" that I know of within a few hours of where I live."
Have you never heard of the city of Maimi? It is only 3 hours from Orlando so must be near "South Florida".
Gordon

[The Guy in the Kilt at UC]

Best of luck to you, man. Hopefully we'll see you in the future.