Let the Pun begin!

[BEEDEE]

From the movie Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (though the punchline is a lot older):

Captain Aubrey: "Do you see those two weevils, Doctor?...Which would you choose?"
Dr. Maturin: "Neither. There's not a scrap of difference between them. They're the same species of Curculio."
Captain Aubrey: "If you had to choose. If you were forced to make a choice. If there were no other option."
Dr. Maturin: "Well, then, if you're going to push me. I would choose the right-hand weevil. It has significant advantage in both length and breadth."
Captain Aubrey: "There, I have you!...Do you not know that in the Service, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?"




Then there was the dictator who wanted to conquer the world, but was delayed while counting the feet of his soldiers. His was a toe-tally tarrying regime.