Let the Pun begin!

[Oldhiker]

Did you hear about the Midget psychic who ran from the cops?
Now they are looking for a small medium at large.

groan... I like it

[Jaggy thistle]

A Scotsman is visiting USA goes to a Indian reservations sees this sign(wisest Indian in world ask him anything if he cannot answer you win 20 dollars)so he pays his dollar and asks who scored the winning /goal in the 1989 Scottish cup final ? Ally Macoist said the Indian Scotsman goes awyay shaking his head his wee money making scheme wrecked . He is back in USA 5 years later sees the same sign , he wonders if the Indian will remember him so he goes up to the Indian with his hand raised and says how . The Indian says Diving header !!

[Kilted_John]

Confucious say "man who runs from car will get tired."

[BEEDEE]

...........and always remember that A DAY WITHOUT PUNS IS LIKE A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE, THERE'S GLOOM FOR IMPROVEMENT!

Brian

[dfmacliam]

remember the organization.... Mothers Against Dyslexia... or better known as DAM

[ForresterModern]

Mark Twain claimed that the PUN was the most painful form of humor, followed closely by the practical joke.

[Inchessi]

What do you call a dog with no legs?





You don't, it's not like he's gonna come running.


Two guys walk into a bar...

The third one ducks.

[jgcunningham]

What do an elephant and a can of tomato soup have in common?










Neither one can ride a bicycle.

[jgcunningham]

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


A fish.

[piperdbh]

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?



Anyone can mash potatoes.