XMTS Fellowship is kindler and gentler than reality.

**ChubRock** · 12th September 09, 02:48 PM

Today was the Grand opening of the Scottish American Center of Minnesota. Not as grand as the event title would have you believe. It is upstairs in a corner of the Danish American Center along the northern shores of the Mississippi River.

We arrived to find everyone had already left to go to a pub, or a Highland Dance event across the river in St. Paul. A few people were walking out, I knew one quite well from years ago so we spoke, but one of the elders looked me up and down with my white oxford, black SWK Nightstalker, creme hose (sorry, that's all I have at the moment,) and black dress shoes. My wife was in a skirt and nice top, but not Scottish dress. We felt like since we weren't in the older elite circle, who have been involved for years in the St. Andrews Society, that we were outsiders. Just a feeling, but it was obvious to both us we weren't one of them.

The event was promoted as being open from 12:00 to 4:00. The Mrs. had a union meeting until 1:00, so we arrived at 2:20. Luckily for us a nice man (Tom King) who volunteers agreed to stick around and give us a tour, which didn't take long because it is a small venue. Nonetheless, he was kind, gracious and we thanked him many times for his time and knowledge about how in the future we can help preserve the center and become more involved.

My point is that in this forum which is designed for kilt lovers, I find the people and fellowship here to be patient, knowledgeable and rarely condescending. I know that when I meet some of you, it will be like seeing an old friend. I wish there were a few of you around today. Now my wife isn't sure about a Burns Dinner or joining the St. Andrews Society. Is it me, or is this common?

Just thought I would share.

**macwilkin** · 12th September 09, 02:55 PM

I know two gentlemen in MN Scottish community & both are nice guys. Many St. Andrew's societies are sometimes unfairly stereotyped due to some bad apples, but my limited experience with MN Scot has been nothing but positive.

Todd

**The Wizard of BC** · 12th September 09, 03:22 PM

I deleted my original answer to this post when my wife called me and said it could be interpreted wrong.

Chub, it was unfortunate that you were left with the feeling of not belonging. I have felt the same way at times.

Fortunately there is this forum where you are welcomed simply because you choose to wear the Kilt, not on how you wear it.

**CDNSushi** · 12th September 09, 05:27 PM

Last time I was at the Highland Games in Tokyo, ALL the folks of the St Andrews Society were very, very, very friendly and welcoming, and even though I had only met them for the first time in my life, they made me feel like family.

I'd say that results will vary. I doubt there is a general rule to what kind of reception you will get in any given situation, I'm afraid.

**Panache** · 12th September 09, 06:11 PM

Too bad that there were some that gave you the cold shoulder

Reading your post I can't help but think "Bully for Tom King" for making up for the others

What I have learned from XMTS is that you have to look for the good and always make sure what you bring to a group is the positive that you seek in others.

Good to see that you made the effort to attend and to dress as nicely as you could for the occasion

Cheers

Jamie :ootd:

**LadyGriffin** · 12th September 09, 07:55 PM

As a fellow Minnesnowtan, I highly recommend you do not give up on a one-time experience. I have been involved with the MN Scottish community for years, and they are a wonderful bunch!
I totally spaced on the opening today. Wish I had read your post earlier.

If you want to get connected with a good group of MN Scots, there is an event coming up you might like put on by the RSCDS dance group:

Event: Bring A Friend Night
"or come alone! Just come dancing!"
What: Opening
Start Time: Monday, September 21 at 7:30pm
End Time: Monday, September 21 at 9:30pm
Where: Tapestry Folkdance Center

Great bunch of folk!

And of course there is the MN Scottish Fair in May...

Julie

**muirkirkca** · 12th September 09, 08:12 PM

I have had this in Scottish Country dancing but have also had lots of assistance. Best to just soldier on.

**SteveB** · 12th September 09, 10:45 PM

To wake up some attitudes in a group that had a similar "event", I kept up with the activities of the group and made a mental note. As in your case the officers and "inner circle" chose to ignore the "outsiders". One member took the time and cheerfully and seemed interested in interacting with the many "outsiders". The time came periodically to be asked to help fill the plate. I had observed that the "inner circle" was generally putting checques of ten to fifteen dollars. When I made a donation, I placed "In honour of" and the name of the gent that welcomed us "outsiders". The amount was for fifty dollars. I made sure to do the same at the next event that passed the plate. It got the attention of the "inner circle". I was approached by the secretary, and asked why the honour of. I answered that the honouree was the only member reaching out to welcome people to the activities of the group. They got the message when two others that were visiting had done the same thing. ...Kind of like my playing Queen's We Will Rock You on my bagpipes at five in the morning.....

**Panache** · 13th September 09, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by SteveB

... When I made a donation, I placed "In honour of" and the name of the gent that welcomed us "outsiders". The amount was for fifty dollars. I made sure to do the same at the next event that passed the plate. It got the attention of the "inner circle". I was approached by the secretary, and asked why the honour of. I answered that the honouree was the only member reaching out to welcome people to the activities of the group. They got the message when two others that were visiting had done the same thing...

Very well done Sir!!!

What a wonderful and classy way to change a group from within!

Cheers

Jamie :ootd:

**dfmacliam** · 13th September 09, 09:38 AM

Sometimes there are those who loose the message of what the organization is about.. not always, but sometimes.. bringing in new blood is always the best way to ensuring the life of any organization.
Its good someone took the time to show you around.. that means there are those who care... have faith and do not give up on them... you will find good people, and a new home..