what formal events do you attend, and...

[auld argonian]

Two of the notable events that I've gone to Black Tie and Kilted:

The Richard Driehaus Architecture Award Dinner. That was fun...one other fella showed up kilted, a student from Notre Dame as Mr. Driehaus is a big supporter of the architecture program at ND. I ended up getting pulled over for speeding on the way home and was really hoping that the copper wasn't going to say, "All right, step out of the car.", cause I really didn't want to have to explain the whole regalia to a cop in the middle of the night on Ashland Avenue.

The dinner for the opening of the new wing of the Chicago Art Institute. I walked in and was immediately surrounded by the press. It took several minutes to assure them that I was, indeed, nobody of any great importance and make the point that if no one else had shown up in a kilt, it wasn't my fault. Had a few of the smarmy art crowd make snide comments but the people that I like that were there seemed to appreciate my having taken all the trouble to make it a special occasion.

My observations on wearing a kilt to a special event are these:

You will invariably have a certain percentage of people who will assume that you did it to draw attention to yourself. This reflects more on their insecurities and need for attention than anything else. Sorry to "upstage" you, my dears, but this is what I wear...deal with it.

The other is that you will always get one guy who will come up and say, "Oh yeah...y'know, I've got a kilt too." At which point I try to get a very honest and innocent look on my face and ask, "Then why aren't you wearing it?" This is where the fella usually changes the subject.

Best

AA

[Panache]

Alan,

Even if you only wear your formal rig once a year, isn't it still wonderful to look so dapper for that one night?

You may never need of it to attend any other formal events but isn't it a nice thing to have the option?

When you are invited to attend a premier at the the SF Opera in a box seat you will smile to yourself and know that in your closet you are prepared to escort the Luminous Joan in style.

Cheers

Jamie

[JSFMACLJR]

I think it was Cajunscot who said he dislikes this sort of thread because of the "I hate this" or "I hate that" overtones. I agree, but what I dislike even more is the "us versus them" attitudes. "Hell no, I won't wear a monkey suit! Only the spoilt, arrogant, elites dress up to look silly. I like to be comfortable! Nobody can tell me how to dress!"

Well, assume all you want to.

I wear a dinner jacket maybe 8 or 10 times a year. We are invited to a number of black tie events here in Kentucky. Some are charity events; some are just plain old dinners or parties at friends' houses. When I was younger and used to attend all sorts of debutante events, it would not have been inconcievable to wear black tie to 20 or 30 events in a year, and white tie to six or more! Ah, youth.

We are invited to a number of white tie events each year, as well--mostly hunt balls and that sort of thing. It is sad, though, to see that even at these white tie events, a great number of men dress in dinner jackets.

I wear the kilt to formal white/black tie events maybe four times a year. My family, though, dresses for dinner quite often, and usually on these occasions-- and also whenever Sara and I have a black tie dinner party at our house (maybe once a year)-- I wear the kilt.

I am perfectly comfortable wearing a dinner jacket, white tie, the kilt, and even breeches (which I have worn with my green beagling tailcoat to hunt balls). I have only owned (or inherited ) my own clothes, and would feel quite ackward wearing rented things. But that's me...don't worry about it!

[davedove]

I always wonder about some of the folks who say they avoid going to these events because they are formal. Is it because you just dislike the idea of formal events or that you don't have the attire and don't want to put it together?

If you just dislike the idea of formal, that's your business, but I think you're missing a fun time.

Now, if you just don't have the attire, you will find that once you have the attire and are prepared, they are not near the same hassle as before. You don't have to worry about putting together the outfit and with that bit of worry behind you, you can enjoy things a lot more.

[irishrob]

I usually attend a couple of charity galas a year as well a Christmas or winter ball or two....as my wife says I am always the best dressed whether wearing a PC and vest or for less formal, Argyle.

So being ruggedly handsome and the best dressed is the curse of being formall kilted.

Rob

[Arlen]

I rarely get invited to anything that is 'SPECIFICALLY' black or white tie, but I attend formal events where I feel happier if I am nicely attired.

[MacLowlife]

Alan, others have seen that your question is really a two-parter:
1) Do you go to black and white tie events , and
2) Do you get really dressed up in your kilt?

Like JSFMcL, I don't do as much of that sort of thing as I used to, but I wear (Saxon) white tie once or twice a year. It is definitely worth having your own, just to avoid the cheesy rental shirts. We are really talking about one more coat and a good wing-collar shirt, along with the white tie and vest. The trousers are your regular tux pants.

My black tie participation varies greatly. In my neck of the woods, plenty of weddings are black tie, or at least held at the time when black tie would be appropriate. Again, I don't do as much of that as I once did, being in that trough between your own friends having fancy weddings and your own friends' CHILDREN having fancy weddings.

I can't remember being much more frustrated than when I had to rent nasty made-up "formal wear" to match other groomsmen in a couple of weddings. There is something very sensible about a groom who says "We will all wear our own tuxes."

But I have rambled on and risked missing out on this very important point. As brother McLean already implied, the answer is HAVE YOUR OWN BLACK TIE FUNCTION. If you want to go to black tie parties, host one and see what happens next.

As for kilted black tie, my local group of miscreants have two events, around St Andrew's day. They bracket what we sometimes call Dress Up and Drink week. Monday is our Annual Meeting, which is black tie and stag. Saturday is our Tartan Brawl, which is black tie ( and not stag .) In the days between, several unrelated (Non- Scots) organizations have parties that also happen to be black tie. It is a rough week for the liver.

[auld argonian]

Mulling this thread over, I thought that I might throw in my thoughts about when you wear the "conventional" dress outfits versus when you wear the kilt.

In my case, I wear both (not at the same time, obviously) just to make the point that when I wear the kilt it is by CHOICE. I think that this is important because it makes it clear to the folks around you that the kilt should be considered a normal part of your wardrobe otherwise the assumption may be that you are just wearing it to draw attention, be contrary or to make some kind of abstract point. I'm sorta more into trying to make kilts part of the norm an not some kind of exception and mixing it up seems to accomplish that end.

I've mentioned one couple that I know who got very weird about my showing up at their events kilted...this being pretty odd to me since the husband is of Welsh Ancestry and seems to be very proud of it. I've stopped wearing it to their events. It takes a while but eventually one or the other of them will ask why I'm not wearing the kilt. My reply is very straightforward: I know that it makes them uncomfortable and even though I feel that by wearing it I'm honoring their hospitality by showing up in what I consider to be my "best", I will make them feel more comfortable by wearing "conventional" dress at their functions and save the kilt for other functions where it's more welcomed. This has been the best reverse psychology ever. Now they're actually starting to feel insulted that I'm not showing up in the kilt.

So I suggest that you mix it up just to keep them on their toes.


Best

AA

[Alan H]

Alan, you need to hang with less "rabble" and more "society" then.

Seriously, if you really want to be invited to such events, you have to know or belong to groups that hold these events regularly; for example, hereditary societies, St. Andrews Societies, etc. I know you didn't say you "wanted" to go to such events, but it would save you having to get rid of your nice things. Just a thought.

I have no great desire to attend events just on the basis of what people wear to them. I mean, I have no *objection* to attending a black tie or white tie event, I don't have some sort of perceived moral objection to getting dressed to the nines, it's just that I just wouldn't change the nature of my life so as to be invited to such things. I don't have time enough to engage all my interests as it is, I certainly don't need to go join organizations just so I get invited to their formal balls! :LOL: See, I have reasonable black tie kit because I might NEED it. That's different from going out and finding a reason, or an excuse to "need" black tie kit.

In fact, the reason why I own the black tie kit is that I got caught up, early on, in "Kilt Enthusiasm" and bought a bunch of stuff I don't really need, just because it was KILT STUFF. I'm over that stage, now!

Also, I'm kind of choosy over where I blow my money. If there was ever a black tie event I might be interested in going to, it'd be Opening Night at the San Francisco Symphony. However, thickets for opening night start at $150 a seat and go up from there. To my perspective, that's the equivalent of three other concerts....I could attend three other Symphony concerts and sit in very nice seats for the price of sitting in the cheap seats on Opening Night. It makes no sense to me, to blow three hundred bucks on Opening Night. Let the glitterati have their night, I'll have mine.

Alan,

Even if you only wear your formal rig once a year, isn't it still wonderful to look so dapper for that one night?

You may never need of it to attend any other formal events but isn't it a nice thing to have the option?

When you are invited to attend a premier at the the SF Opera in a box seat you will smile to yourself and know that in your closet you are prepared to escort the Luminous Joan in style.

Cheers

Jamie

Honestly, James, I don't get any particular pleasure out of looking dapper. When I attend events I go because I like the people, or I support the cause that it benefits, or the activity that's going on, and so on. I don't go to an event because it's an excuse to dress up. As for the unexpected and *EXTREMELY* unlikely possibility of being invited to the Opera on Opening Night in a box seat, uh......I won't hold my breath! Our friends Bob and Anne have in fact given us Opera tickets that they can't use, a few times, but they're always in "nice" seats on a regular Saturday Night, and a coat and tie is appropriate. Purchasing and maintaining a Doublet on the outside chance, one in a million, that I *might* get invited to such an event or get given such tickets is...well... kind of not how I do things!

Finally, someone suggested that I organize my own Black Tie or White Tie event. In fact I did that, as I was one of the organizers of the first Nor Cal Burns Night, which Panache has admirably run since then. It was fun, but at no point did we want to exclude anybody on the basis of not owning black tie kit. We purposefully kept the admission price low, and we've continued that principle. Not everybody can afford black tie stuff, and so it's not required. I thought very hard about running a Burns Night Dinner for the Nor Cal Scottish Heavy Athletes, but dropped the plan when I saw that I'd take a licking on the dollars and cents side of it.

I don't see the point of organizing a black-tie event just so we have a black-tie event. Events as excuses to put on fancy clothes don't make sense to me. Events that celebrate worthwhile things...weddings, Burns Night, graduation, christenings, the work of a respected and valued colleague and so on...THAT makes sense to me. If those happen to work out to be black tie or white tie, then fine, but making them so, just as an excuse to put on the expensive clothes you bought, *doesn't* make sense to me.

But again, that's just me. Other folks may have different perspectives. I'm intrigued, reading the responses, here.

[Chas]

I go to a couple of white tie events every year. This is a ticket for the next one in two weeks time.



Formal black tie events are far more frequent; St Georges Day and Sovereign's birthday to name but two.

The informal black tie events are the most fun. Until really quite recently men wore a dinner suit (tuxedo) when going out to dinner. Once a month my wife and I go out to a restaurant. I wear my dinner suit and she wears - well something nice, I always like it. We book in advance and take a taxi. We have always received the very best of service. I cannot count the number of free bottles of wine (with the compliments of the management sir) or something special from the sweet trolley (the chef just made these and was wondering if you would give him your opinion on them) that we have been given.

I would not give up going to white tie and black tie events - they are too much fun.

Regards

Chas