Hubby to join US Military

**dfmacliam** · 10th November 09, 11:19 AM

I have yet to meet someone who is homeless because they were veterans.. I met some who happened to be veterans.... I also found that police, firemen, or any job that keeps one working long hours, or travel, or stress related jobs, have a simular divorce rate as the military.. You can blame a lot of issues on a lot of things..but solely because a person is serving.. It's not the blame.. It's a human issue..

**starbkjrus** · 10th November 09, 08:17 PM

Ok, Forum Advocate Hat OFF.......

I'm sure I'll get blasted for this but I don't much care...you and hubby need to go into this eyes wide open....

The military is one of the most honorable professions there is and I applaud you and Celtic Menace for considering it. I also concede that you have a family with a lot of military experience so you definitely have a leg up there but I have to add to this with my own observations.

My Brother-in-law made a career out of the US Air Force. In the mid to late 1970's they were stationed at March AFB California in Riverside. At the time they were assigned there my B-I-L was a Lt. Col and was later promoted to Colonel. The officer's housing was exemplary. Absolutely lovely in the middle of the base and (in the middle of a desert) was lush and inviting. Salaries and allowances were good. I'm a good bit younger than my sister and used to spend summers there with them as a teenager.

As with any officer's, wife charities and committees are expected and my sister was no exception. Many times did I go with her into the NCO / Enlisted personnel housing complex and I have to say it was pure squalor.

One of the major charities she was working with was one that supported enlisted personnel's families. Housing was very sub-standard and a large part of the inhabitants (remember these were military families in base housing) were on food stamps just to make ends meet. It was one of the saddest most disgusting things I've ever seen - the fact that the US Government couldn't bother to pay it's soldiers a wage above the poverty line. I have been turned off on the military ever since. They look after each other in battle / deployment but don't (or didn't ) seem to be able to care for their own here on our own country.

I urge you to go well past the recruiters and the smoke they blow up you know where and go find some REAL enlisted personnel living in the current environment that you will have to live in.

Before you end up in sub-standard housing, on food stamps and raising the kids by yourself while Celtic Menace is deployed and not able to help you should look at ALL the scenarios. Both the real ones and the ones the recruiters show you.
I'm very interested in hearing some true scenarios from those who are active military.

Just bringing some realism into this one folks.

/Forum Advocate's hat BACK ON

We will be watching this thread for civility.

**berserkbishop** · 10th November 09, 08:32 PM

Dont know that I would argue with you at all Dee. I am currently enlisted, and single on E-4 pay. I live in the barracks, but some of my married shipmates reside in Navy housing. They arent that bad really.

I think it would be difficult to provide for a family on E-4 salary personally. Anyone interested can look up how much that is. Now of course this is base pay, no allotments added.

With the Navy's basic allowance for housing allotment, life is a little easier and it is enough to cover a nice place. (I cant speak as to how the other branches run allotments). Some rates (like mine) also get many other allotments which really add up.

A family on enlisted pay is do able, but while you are low on the totem pole you really have to accept that you may to make sacrifices, and wont have the nicest things, but it can be done, and with better than substandard living.

Bishop

**starbkjrus** · 10th November 09, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Dirka Skene

Well, my brother in law is currently serving in the USAF. He and his wife are the ones who persuaded my husband to consider the USAF. They are actually pretty pleased and considering the military as a career for my brother-in-law. My very best and closest friend is married a serviceman in the Army. She is very pleased. I have gone to visit them several times in several and they have hardly lived in squalor. Maybe they are exceptions. Or maybe, no offence to anyone's opinion, things may have possibly improved? I'd like to believe that, because my husband seems to be hell bent on joining. It may just be a phase, but his phases usually don't last this long.

Originally Posted by berserkbishop

Dont know that I would argue with you at all Dee. I am currently enlisted, and single on E-4 pay. I live in the barracks, but some of my married shipmates reside in Navy housing. They arent that bad really.

I think it would be difficult to provide for a family on E-4 salary personally. Anyone interested can look up how much that is. Now of course this is base pay, no allotments added.

With the Navy's basic allowance for housing allotment, life is a little easier and it is enough to cover a nice place. (I cant speak as to how the other branches run allotments). Some rates (like mine) also get many other allotments which really add up.

A family on enlisted pay is do able, but while you are low on the totem pole you really have to accept that you may to make sacrifices, and wont have the nicest things, but it can be done, and with better than substandard living.

Bishop

I would love to hear / know that things have improved. I do not mean to disparage I simply want to add an experience that has not been voiced here. Those images have stuck with me all those years.

**Kett** · 10th November 09, 08:56 PM

As an ex-military wife (US Navy), I have to pipe in my 2-cents worth.

My husband was in the Navy for a 6 year enlistment. The 6 year gig got him the training he wanted but did mean a lot of time that we were separated. He even had one transfer that only qualified as permanent by about a week (meaning the Navy paid for a cross country move), and I would not move until after that ended up in a second, more permanent move (to me anyway), which was back on the same coast I refused to move from in the first place. I really did not want to pack up for 6 months and a week, and turn around and move again! It worked out in the end.

We had a very strong relationship to start with, and at the end of that 6 year period, I think we just made it stronger. We (or at least I) learned that while I could probably manage life on my own, I appreciated having someone else to share my life with. In my opinion, that's been a recurring theme in our marriage - we just enjoy being with each other. 22 years later, here we are!

Is it tough being a military wife? Absolutely yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely yes. I think the tougher side of the marriage is the on the spouse that's actually in the military than the one who isn't. The one in the military doesn't get much choice in where to go, which can create some significant marital stress. I'm very proud of my husband for serving our country. I honestly can't tell you what may have happened if he'd decided on the military as a career, but even as young as we were at the time, we knew 6 years was not forever and we made it work. Go in with your eyes open, but go with pride. Those who serve their country are more than worthy of our respect.

Melissa