I have had similar toughts, I'm relatively new to kilts ( got my first one in '98 but didn't wear it often and then got my «clan» one before I knew much about it just because I wanted it and then learned a lot about highland wear and contemporary wear (mostly from this site.... thank you all).

I now feel different. if I want a new kilt and it is a universal or district tartan, ok, I would buy it. If it is a clan,family, club,company.... tartan, i will seek permission, tell them why I am attracted to that tartan. I could be seen like an idiot and they might not even care. But I do. They might not want me to get one, it could happen and I would respect that. It might also be a good way to meet new people and make new friends (ok friends might be a bit to much, at least new acquaintances (not too sure about spelling)) In that way, that peticular kilt would have a personal story behind it, some meaning, it would make it just that much special. I could create a tartan if I had enough time and money (which I don't). Kilt wearing makes me feel good, I take better care of how I dress, how I appear in public. Am I scot? No. Do I want to be scot? Not really. Do I have other links to scotland other than on my mother's side? Maybe. Do I want to wear only can related tartans? No.
Am I starting to highjack this thread? Maybe and I am sorry about that if I am. But I think you understand what I mean.

Now to the rest of the rabble...