Quote Originally Posted by MacBean View Post
Well lass, I keep my bagpipes well hidden, but if you're good, I'll let you blow them.
That's nearly as good as the one I like for THE QUESTION:

Nothing, mam, it's in perfect working order.

The only comment I have received was from a woman who said something along the lines of she thought men in kilts looked really super (other than the question later that night from a woman at the Whisky tasting I was attending: Ricky Crawford and I had fun with her).

I try to stay as "authentic" as possible when I wear the kilt outside of the highlands, which means at least a sporran and a sgian dubh to stab someone who makes stupid comments along the lines of the one that started this thread.

If you don't like MacBean's answer (which I am filing away for future reference), I can send you a crappy set of ebay bagpipes.

Then you could truthfully say, "are you want offering to come to my house and blow them?"