Well Canuck of NI, what can I tell you?

It appears you have fond memories of Haggis as furry Tribble like creatures or even as the uneven-legged "Sidehill Wompahoofus". (I must look into this as it may be evidence of a possible hiccup in Haggis evolution.) Once, I too, held similar romantic notions of cute, furry, three legged creatures skipping and dancing on lowland hillsides as the evening sun sank slowly into the sea beyond Scotland's western shores. But unfortunately a chance meeting with a wee man in a tartan bunnet, drunkenly mopping the black and white tiled floor of a Glasgow public toilet, was destined to change my life.

Before I reveal more to you sir, I have questions..... Is it really my place to take your treasured memories and render them asunder? Can you handle the reality? Would you even believe the hardships and dangers we had to endure, the ridicule from our peers when they discovered our whole expedition was based on the ramblings of a blind-drunk, public toilet attendant. Is it possible for you to appreciate the despair we felt after hacking our way through twenty years of bramble growth dressed only in kilts and string vests just to discover there was another, easier, route?

I say to you sir. When you can accept what we went through and weep real, alcohol induced tears for our suffering, then and only then, will I reveal more of the truths of "Ancient Scrolls of Haggyrr".

Scolpaig.