mourning dress

[gilmore]

Funeral Etiquette by Mark Twain

Do not criticize the person in whose honor the entertainment is given...


Do not bring your dog.



Best

AA

Thanks for posting that. I had never red it, and it brought a chuckle.

Although mourning tartans might these days be seen by some as a bit de trop, a 19th Century affectation aimed at the then-newly affluent middle class, I rather think they are a worthy idea, and if I did not have other robes that are almost always more appropriate for funerals and memorial services, and if there was a Robertson or Gilmore mourning tartan, I would probably have one on hand for such occasions, which, as we grow older, come more and more often. Of course I am from the American South, where we still take funerals as more of an event than do some others.

[Jock Scot]

Thanks for posting that. I had never red it, and it brought a chuckle.

Although mourning tartans might these days be seen by some as a bit de trop, a 19th Century affectation aimed at the then-newly affluent middle class, I rather think they are a worthy idea, and if I did not have other robes that are almost always more appropriate for funerals and memorial services, and if there was a Robertson or Gilmore mourning tartan, I would probably have one on hand for such occasions, which, as we grow older, come more and more often. Of course I am from the American South, where we still take funerals as more of an event than do some others.

I am not sure if there is a "convention" on mourning tartans, but at a guess, I should imagine that only the immediate family of the deceased would wear a mourning tartan. I should imagine (actually I am pretty sure) that a mourning tartan is(was) not intended for everyone to have in the wardrobe to wear for the occasion of any funeral that comes along in the course of time.

This poses an interesting thought. Could a kilt maker acquire the appropriate clan mourning tartan and then make a kilt in time for a funeral? Deaths on the whole do not come to order, so I think this is why the general idea of mourning tartans foundered.

In the Victorian times, the wife of the deceased, for example, would be in mourning for six months and would be expected to wear various forms of attire to signal to others her state of affairs and what stage of mourning she was in. Likewise widowers would have especially blackened buttons to signify his status.The general mourners would wear black, or black arm band, as a matter of course to the funeral, but there it would end and everyday wear would then be worn. I think I have, somewhere, a book on Victoria/Edwardian "mourning etiquette" and from what I recall this "state of mourning" was quite a complicated affair. We must also bare in mind that all this mourning rigmarole could only be afforded by the wealthy, therefore this could hardly be regarded as general practice for the majority of the population.

Thoughts any one?

[ctbuchanan]

Both my brother and mother passed away last year - he too young - but my mum was 94 (she was born in Scotland). We asked any and all of Scottish heritage to wear their tartan and kilts if they wished. We have a very large family and more than half of the many people who came to both did. We also had a piper at each service. We decorated parts of the church (protestant) with our Buchanan tartan which is obviously not the least bit somber. They were amazing tributes to two people who cherished their heritage and we felt a wonderful sendoff.

Not for everyone perhaps, but I have been to probably half a dozen funerals in the past 5-10 years that were done the same way. Would I wear my kilt to any other funeral without knowing it was requested... probably not.

[The Celtic Gypsy]

I think funerals are curious things to begin with. I have been to some that were so mournful that one couldn't help but be depressed for weeks after. And i have been to some that were do joyous you just wanted to dance. And this idea of mourning tartans for kilts is kind of depressing. All the black an somber clothing is really more of modern invention. There are still groups around the world that wear white and other bright colors and have a celebration of the departed's life rather then weeping and crying.

And after reading the posts, I think i would want as many different tartans as possible in kilts, sashes, or what ever just to have the colors of the rainbow surrounding me. I don't really want people to be sad that i have left, rather have a party and have a good time. And somehow, dark and somber colored clothing would just bring every one's spirits down. Nope, would rather have "glad rags' then "sad rags'

(Well actually i would like to have a viking funeral but here in Michigan it is against the law)

[Cygnus]

...
And after reading the posts, I think i would want as many different tartans as possible in kilts, sashes, or what ever just to have the colors of the rainbow surrounding me...

(Well actually i would like to have a viking funeral but here in Michigan it is against the law)

I would like lots of tartans at my funeral, too. And I think my ideal funeral would be against the law as well; I'd like to be seated on the front row.

Sadly, I don't think the rest of the world thinks quite like us!

[rtc872]

I am sorry, but I have to say this to you all. I don't know if you have Scots connections to fall back on, or kilt wearing is just a new thing that you have taken to, but a funeral is the one place not to show off at. There really are times when wearing the kilt should take second place to the occasion and wearing the kilt to a funeral may not be the most sensitive thing to do in some circumstances.

For real? A kilt is as respectful as it can get. You are wearing something that reaches the highest levels of formality. I get the feeling that people are trying to confuse the kilt with an Hawaiian shirt.

I may be taking a rather more relaxed line as in Australia, or my community at the least, the kilt is not at all thought of as a lowly thing.

I imagine in America where heritage can run 400 years back and on top of that possibly greater multicultural communities some thought must be taken into account, however I just cannot see myself ever deciding that a kilt is inappropriate attire. Maybe if I were to need to drive for 10 hours to get there I would reconsider.

[Jock Scot]

For real? A kilt is as respectful as it can get. You are wearing something that reaches the highest levels of formality. I get the feeling that people are trying to confuse the kilt with an Hawaiian shirt.

I may be taking a rather more relaxed line as in Australia, or my community at the least, the kilt is not at all thought of as a lowly thing.

I imagine in America where heritage can run 400 years back and on top of that possibly greater multicultural communities some thought must be taken into account, however I just cannot see myself ever deciding that a kilt is inappropriate attire. Maybe if I were to need to drive for 10 hours to get there I would reconsider.

Yes for real. There are many "old school" Highland Scots who would never even consider wearing the kilt below the Highland line of Scotland under any civilian circumstance, for example. Quite often when some one has died, up here in Highlands, the "Grapevine" starts working and not only is the day, time and place for the funeral discussed the next question is often "what are you wearing?",----a perfectly normal question for us, meaning kilt, or, suit and if in doubt, the suit takes precedence. So, even in the home of the kilt it is not always considered the sensitive thing to do, to attend a funeral in the kilt.