very surprised at the reaction at church.

[wildrover]

A bit of the god's representative has spoken. obey. His son rebelled and I think that has something to do with it.......His older brother (17) has had some problems with the bishop and alot of the congregation earlier........I have taught him to think for himself and do things because he believes it is right not because someone in authority tells him to. He is respectful but doesn't just doesn't say how high when told to jump.
That doesn't go over well and I think he wants to nip this in the bud before cameron is like his brother. He even took cameron in his office to give him a "blessing" so cameron could understand why wearing a kilt is bad. He did it without my permission or consulting me. I admit that angered me and we will discuss that.

That guy is an asshat. If he'd lighten up, maybe his kid wouldn't have been so inclined to rebel. Find a new church...one which is run by kindness, encouragement, wisdom and inclusion rather than authority. I'm not a religious guy...for the most part, I don't like religion, because it's too easy to turn it in to a matter of the exercise of human authority based on human prejudice, and this old boy sounds like a prime example to me. Nip what in the bud? Independent thought? Reason? Logic? Common sense? None of those things conflict with religion or spirituality...but they all certainly carry the potential to conflict with human authority. Keep doing what you're doing...sounds to me like you're raising your boys better than he would, and if you feel they need spiritual guidance, there are better people to deliver that guidance than your current priest.

CLEARLY ignorant of the matter. Perhaps there is a way to educate him although that might threaten his authority since he feels it necessary to dictate who can come and how dressed. He probably just watched Braveheart too many times.

The guy is offensive. Just take his authority away...whether it's by removing it completely and publicly, or simply removing yourself from his authority.

Being distracted, annoyed, disturbed, offended by how you view someone else is the "personal" problem of the offended person.

I would love it if the world worked that way.

In my experience, you have a greater chance of coming to a satisfactory resolution to a conflict if you operate from the assumption that the person you are dealing with has a reasonable and valid position.

And what if they have neither a reasonable nor valid position? Does their humanity alone rate their argument the same degree of consideration as one which is reasonable and valid?

Yeah...you know what I'm thinkin'...I'm not gonna say it, but I'm thinkin' it so hard you can probably hear me all the way over there.

The bottom line is, it sounds to me like you guys need a new priest...or a new church. At the very least, the guy is a jerk, and at the rational end of the spectrum, you and your priest have such widely variant opinions on how to raise a child to adulthood that I can't really see any benefit to allowing him to be an authoritative presence in your sons' lives.

-Sean