very surprised at the reaction at church.

[Kornkob]

And what if they have neither a reasonable nor valid position? Does their humanity alone rate their argument the same degree of consideration as one which is reasonable and valid?

Assuming that the other party doesn't have some valid reason sets up a scenario wherein you cannot find common ground, you can only try to force the other party to acquiesce. In general, my experience is that there is no resolving the conflict by taking up a contrary position without even trying to understand and respect the other position--- largely because it is not really attempting to reach some to an understanding.

It's going to be very hard to get someone to see your position as reasonable and valid, if your primary 'talking point' amounts to "you are wrong and I am right".

There can be unresolvable differences of opinion, to be sure, but if you start a discussion having already decided that the other party has no valid reason for their position, then you haven't made an earnest attempt to resolve your differences and are merely positing an alternative edict.

Earlier someone pointed out an example in which the administration of a religious school objected to someone's intended behavior and chose to engage in a dialog in which they encouraged discussion about the motives and reasoning. This clearly showed respect for the other party and, as it turned out, they were able to resolve their differences in a positive and constructive manner. I am merely suggesting that most conflicts can be resolved in this manner.