Quote Originally Posted by Jock Scot View Post
Alright I accept that things are done a little differently in other parts of the world, but in Scotland it is the brides mother and father,whilst no doubt guided by the bride to be, who are the arbiters of what is or is not worn. As we are talking about the kilt we are, at least, giving some recognition of a Scots connection and there is no way, under any circumstances, would a Scot ever change his tartan kilt for anything else.Nor, would any one even dare ask him to. Scots brides understand that, if they don't, there may well be no wedding!

Now I don't know if your tartan is a family one, if it isn't, then alright I suppose there is no reason why you could not accede to the wishes of the bride. Apart from being dressed in some travesty of a kilt such as the one in the picture -----and that awful tie!Sorry I can't help it!.
Traditionally, that is how it is/was done here in the US as well. However, one thing that I've noticed is that the level of independence (both financial and otherwise) increases as the average age of newly weds increases. This, in the states at least, has led to the trend of the couple being more responsible for their wedding - in many cases this includes footing the better part of the bill!

In the end, the way to tell who is "heading things up" is to look at the invitation. If it says "Mr. and Mrs. Douglas D. Douglas are pleased to announce..." (or something similar), then it's the parents that you should ask. If it says, "Jane and John are getting married!" or "The bride and groom request your presence..." then you know the wedding is being put on by the couple themselves or that the couple is taking responsibility for such things.

Sadly, the kilt is seen as a bit of an oddity here and few people understand its significance - and recent threads have shown how very obsessive some of us can be about making sure everything matches. The fact the OP owns a plain black kilt made me assume that he would be willing to wear one!