Very Angry with nephew.

[Inchessi]

I am a Proud person, and I am doubly proud of my families heritage. I can trace my families history to 1803 in Honorable Military Discharge papers. My Aunt went to Scotland to verify some genealogy, she called ahead to ensure the information's location, and had a wonderful talk with the people in Scotland. They sent a "Flagged Limo" to pick her up at the airport. She didn't ask for special treatment, it is that our family name means enough to warrant that treatment. Okay, she also has the personality that makes people want to be nice. Still, I digress.

The nephew is aware of all this information, and more, he has even requested my collection of my families military papers. I informed him that I will only pass them on to the Niece or Nephew that receives an Honorable Discharge.

Maybe this is the root of the problem. He has decided to claim his maternal tartan, his mother's, mothers, tartan. Not his Fathers (my Brother, soon to retire from the Air Force.)

I am sure that I am "Over the Top" in my anger, but I can not help but be insulted. You know how people get so angry that they can't talk? I am hurt, insulted and angry as to be beyond that point.

I am aware that many of you will inform me to grow up, but at my age, I have done all the maturing that I want. Please be gentle, and rational, because I just can't understand his reasoning.

[AcuteEnigma]

Have you asked him why?

Does he like the other tartans colors better?

Does he feel the need to honor mom? Is she in need of emotional support right now?

There is no reason he cannot have both tartans.

[BLHS209]

He can "claim" all he wants but, as my son-in-law found out, the clans will only recognize the fathers line. Now that is "assuming" that you/he have "links" to Scotland on both sides.

[McFarkus]

House of Gordon recognizes folk through the maternal line if they choose to acknowledge HOG. I think that many of the septs arose because of intermarriage.

[macwilkin]

I am a Proud person, and I am doubly proud of my families heritage. I can trace my families history to 1803 in Honorable Military Discharge papers. My Aunt went to Scotland to verify some genealogy, she called ahead to ensure the information's location, and had a wonderful talk with the people in Scotland. They sent a "Flagged Limo" to pick her up at the airport. She didn't ask for special treatment, it is that our family name means enough to warrant that treatment. Okay, she also has the personality that makes people want to be nice. Still, I digress.

The nephew is aware of all this information, and more, he has even requested my collection of my families military papers. I informed him that I will only pass them on to the Niece or Nephew that receives an Honorable Discharge.

Maybe this is the root of the problem. He has decided to claim his maternal tartan, his mother's, mothers, tartan. Not his Fathers (my Brother, soon to retire from the Air Force.)

I am sure that I am "Over the Top" in my anger, but I can not help but be insulted. You know how people get so angry that they can't talk? I am hurt, insulted and angry as to be beyond that point.

I am aware that many of you will inform me to grow up, but at my age, I have done all the maturing that I want. Please be gentle, and rational, because I just can't understand his reasoning.

Let me try to understand your post: you are denying your nephew access to family records because he has not served in the military? Is he simply asking to view them, or for ownership?

As a former genealogy librarian, I saw this sort of thing regularly, and to be quite blunt, I never understood it. If he is simply asking for access or even photocopies, that would hardly be an insult -- and what difference does his service (or lack thereof) in the military make? You don't need to have served to study military history and/or genealogy.

Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding you.

T.

[macwilkin]

He can "claim" all he wants but, as my son-in-law found out, the clans will only recognize the fathers line. Now that is "assuming" that you/he have "links" to Scotland on both sides.

From the Lyon Court's FAQ:

Who is a member of a clan?

Every person who has the same surname as the chief is deemed to be a member of the clan. Equally a person who offers allegiance to the chief is recognised as a member of the clan unless the chief decides that he will not accept that person's allegiance.*

*Emphasis mine.

T.

[skauwt]

in my view a maternal line is just as important to as paternal at the end of the day he can choose which line he wants just as you've choosen your fathers line what if your mothers mother was upset at your excluding her side of the tree

ive traced parts of my tree to the 1300`s most goes back to the 1600`s they are all my ancestors and are all equal in my eyes

[Lallans]

One solution is to offer to buy the lad another kilt, this time in the tartan you prefer. Well, it wouldn't be a solution unless he accepts. I for one would not say no under similar circumstances, but if he does the reason will surely come out and can be dealt with. And no matter what, it's a way to tell him how you feel so he won't be totally mystified when your will is read out....

[scoutman77]

Am I wrong in my understanding that Tartans were assigned by the English king? My family doesn't have a Tartan, (although one has been registered a few years ago and I don't like that one anyway). If they did wear one, it has been suggested that it was someone elses. And an honorable discharge from the military here is subjective, I got an honorable discharge, but for a broken back not for retirement or time served.

[Tobus]

Am I wrong in my understanding that Tartans were assigned by the English king?

Yes.