Awkward situation

[McClef]

Sorry I have to quote rules here but some things said so far have been heading in that direction.

Rule #9– This forum is not the place for the discussion of cross-dressing.

lethearen's question was quite specific and based upon the experience he related:

But... have any of y'all be in a similar situation? If so, how'd you handle it?

So if you cannot answer the question as asked please avoid cross dressing comments.

Thanks.

[RockyR]

I think you handled it very well, given the nature of the discussion and the role that was thrust upon you as teacher.

[Macman]

I can understand how you would still be feeling rattled! I think you and the boy's family handled the whole situation very well.

[Kiltboy]

Yes, I have been in a similar situation. As a presenter and instructor, frequently kilted, I usually have to explain the kilt, tartans, and Scottish/Celtic traditions. Any question is likely to come up in a group of people.

You were asked to help with a family's personal interactions without advanced knowledge. You answered honestly and directly. You handled it quite well.

[Taygrd]

I have never been in that situation, however my youngest son has aspergers syndrome. It is a mild form of autism mixed with high intelect and inability to pick up on social norms. (He started reading at age 3 and is two grade levels ahead of his age.) Autism "looks" different in every child but the behavior is not always uncontrollable. The media and public have very skewed perceptions of autism. As parents my wife and I did not allow inappropriate behavior inside or outside the home and we look for "teaching opportunities" when they arise.
Having qualified myself I must say that you provided the boy and the family a "teaching moment" to educate the boy. Your willingness to talk to them about it and not be offended by such a situation turned an "awkward situation" into a valuable lesson. It may not appear that you had an impact on the young man but I assure you he could more than likely repeat every word you said. I wish everyone showed such understanding and compasion.

[Riverkilt]

I think you handled it well too - good work for being blindsided by the situation.

I've had a sort of similar situation. A few years ago one my clients was a young man in his 20s who affected the look of the guy on Zig Zag rolling papers and was being seen for drug addiction. His mother stopped me in the supermarket when I was wearing a Utilikilt and she wanted to be sure I knew the client still liked to try on his sister's dresses. I don't think his issue was cross-dressing at all, seemed more about FREEDOM and comfort and the curiosity of someone stoned most of the time.

Now, I don't do therapy in grocery store aisle, but couldn't resist suggesting she buy him a Utilikilt. She beamed and felt that was a great idea. If she did, I've never seen him wear it.

The cross-dressers I have had as clients over the years have never shown any interest in kilts. Hope this is within the boundaries and rules. If not, please zap me.

[EagleJCS]

Elim, I think you did just fine. My godson has Asperger's, and although he didn't have the desire to wear female clothing (as far as I know - they lived a few hours away and I didn't get to visit very often, so I didn't get to see the day-in, day-out routine), he has seen me in my kilt and had a lot of questions as well.

I wouldn't worry about seeing that the young man you met 'got it' or not. Sometimes, my godson just sort of drifts away in the middle of a - what's that over there? - sorry ... conversation. There've been a couple of times he's mentioned something that I told him several years earlier. At the time, he didn't seem to make the connection to the conversation. That's the way it goes...

[Bill aka Mole]

It sounds as if you were positive with this, despite the blind side that you received. Good work bye you, Sir.

[AFS1970]

I also think you handled this one well. The only thing I would add, especially in light of the already quoted forum rule, you might want to talk to the parents at some point away from the child and explain the difference between wearing a kilt and [that thing we are not discussing]. The forum rule here stems from the fact that the two are very different things, and I would hate to see someone associate the two as the same and thus think of the kilt as a more acceptable version of something they find otherwise unacceptable. I do not know much about Autism, but from what I read the issue may be simply one of not understanding social norms and not one of gender at all. However I would not presume to be able to figure this out, especially based on a forum post.

[lethearen]

Thanks for all your posts and support, all! Sounds like education really is the way to go.

Nighthawk, I guess I'm much luckier than you... this is something I can pretty much just wash my hands of. It'll likely be the only time the situation comes up... I can hardly imagine the strain of dealing with something like this day in and day out

His aunt mentioned during our conversation with him that there is some Scot in his family. I think I'll follow up some on getting him kilted to get him (and them) more comfortable with it. I know several amongst us are of the no-Scot-required camp, but it may be an important association for him to make. Of course, whatever happens is for his parents to decide