Thanks guys.

We spoke to an immigration attorney through a charity who gave us some advice, but we would have had to pay her at least $300 as well as all the form fees (nearly $3000 in total) and she wouldn't have been able to help much with something like this.

For a professional immigration attorney it'd be between $1500 and $5000 just for their help to file the forms.

My wife is a U.S. Citizen who lived here all her life but that really hasn't helped us any.
The fact is, we have been following the instructions given by the 'immigration agents' on the USCIS phone line and I've learned that they have no clue what they are talking about and refuse to be help liable for their mistakes.
(Because of the mistakes they made with the fiance visa we are out $800 or so that they won't refund.)

I know we'll get it worked out eventually, but it's been quite a few years being broke and fighting red tape.