Wore trews on first date

[thescot]

Bingo, Alex. That's a fine look, and I couldn't choose anything better for a very casual outing. If the weather is very hot, I'd substitute a polo shirt, personally, but it's still within the same line of thinking.

[Dixiecat]

Couple of things....

1. While I don't like it one little bit, the term "gay" is used, especially among some young people, as a synonym for "bad" or "stupid" these days. She might not have necessarily meant to say that you looked like a homosexual man.....which of course just brings up the ridiculous question of "what does a homosexual man look like?" ...and that is QUITE enough on that topic.

Very true. Usually written ghey, see link below for meaning.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ghey

As for the OP's topic. I actually don't care that she did or didn't like your trews, it's her rude reaction that is the telling part of her character. That's what should make you run away, fast. After all, you can't expect everyone to like what you like when you like it. But, you should expect manners.

[thescot]

Even if the lady in question meant "gay" as synonomous with "homosexual," it would really beg the question, "what would a gay man be doing asking for a date with a girl?"

The whole thing just smacks of stupidity on someone's part.

[Tobus]

You do realize that you're on a kilt forum, right? And kilts aren't exactly setting the standard for normalcy either.

Aye, but then again, I wouldn't recommend wearing a kilt on a first date, either, unless proper warning was given. You just don't surprise people with this sort of thing on a first date if you've never met before.

Guys, remember, this is an age where every weirdo and freak is on the internet. People are using internet dating sites for everything from prostitution to finding victims to murder (to wit, they're even making a movie now to document the so-called craigslist killer). So it's not a very good idea to meet someone for the first time in person and surprise them with something that's out-of-the-ordinary. Their first instinct will be to think my God, I've met up with an internet weirdo!. Such is the nature of internet dating, and you have to be more cautious than you perhaps might be with someone who you met through a mutual friend, or the like.

And just to make sure nobody misunderstand me, I'm not saying don't wear trews or a kilt on a first date! Just let them know that's what you're going to do first and see what they think! Otherwise your little 'surprise' is going to blow up in your face!

[BoldHighlander]

Perhaps location may account for some differing in perception, acception, or reception as the case may be, but in the so-called "eclectic" neighbourhood of Seattle and Sydney AU (and for those in the know the answer is no, I am not gay) being trewed whether casually, professionally, or more formally has been overwhelmingly a positive experience and no more negative than being kilted.

There's something to be said about residing in the Pacific NW (in particular the I-5 corridor), isn't there?

[acolander]

There's something to be said about residing in the Pacific NW (in particular the I-5 corridor), isn't there?

Indeed there is! Although, I must say I'm a little disappointed in the amount, or should I say lack, of enthusiasm for kilt nights around here, hey! Perhaps that something that can be remedied in the New Year, WACKOS..??

[BoldHighlander]

Indeed there is! Although, I must say I'm a little disappointed in the amount, or should I say lack, of enthusiasm for kilt nights around here, hey! Perhaps that something that can be remedied in the New Year, WACKOS..??

Indeed!

[biblemonkey]

I can certainly see why he placed (at least part of) the blame on eharmony. They screen by personality traits. Sounds like she was a bit shallow and may have been a tad misleading in her initial personality questionaire, or perhaps this was a glitch on the matching software? Either way she was rude and not exactly someone you should want to spend any more time thinking about other than to hope she finds herself able to see inner beauty in the future.

All the best in the search for the love of your life,
Hugh

[MacMillans son]

It may not have been the trews at all. It is possible that she found some other trait unappealing about you and used the trews, backed up by the "...my parents...", as a way to ensure not having to go on another date, without having to tell you the truth. It seems a trivial deal breaker given the numerous long phone calls, and perceived connection on your part. It is not uncommon in my field (clinical social work) for people to use contrived blame as a, softer for them, way to administer rejection.

Just a thought.

What ever the reason for her behavior, I certainly agree with the "better now than later" posts. Sounds like you dodged a bullet!

Best of luck on the next one

[hootstwo]

I'm on board with some of the folks on here that indicate that trews just aren't a great choice for a first date.

I try to envision what some of my good friends would think if I were to wear trews to a function and almost across the board they'd think not well of me - despite the fact that most of them LOVE my kilts. I don't really know why it is, an exposure thing I suppose. MOST people have seen kilts - be it in person, on TV or at a parade and generally they think highly of folks that they've seen in them. Trews on the other hand, well they're not exactly something most folks have seen.

On a first date, I'd expect most people would want to impress the person they're going to meet, not necessarily demonstrate the "individuality" or "quirkiness" that hopefully their date will GROW to cherish.

Anology: I wear shorts and a collared plaid shirt to work pretty much everyday. I do it to be different and I do it because the kids get a kick out of it (I'm a highschool math teacher, and keep in mind that when I left for work this morning, it was -23C and I'm still in shorts). We had a new adminstrator join our school last year, she was responsible for doing my review at the end of the year. She devuldged to me during my review that at the beginning of the year she was mortified by my dress and could hardly abide having me dressed that way (another thing that got her is that I wear either bright yellow or bright orange or bright pink crocs). But, during the course of the year, she listened to how the kids interacted with me, observed how I carried myself and generally got to know me. Her comment during my review is that she now adored how I dressed and would be disappointed if I were to change. My moral from this is that she GREW to accept/enjoy my style of dress but she had no choice to stick through it at the beginning.

When you're dating or getting to know someone, they're not necessarily going to take the time to grow to appreciate your attire if they're smacked in the face with it.

Some of you will say that you don't want any part of those people and they're not worth your time. Well, I guess I'd say that's too bad because many of them can be great and fun people, they just need some time to acclimate. It's sort of like when I tried sushi for the first time, definitely not my thing, but now that I've had more exposure and grown accustomed to it, it's one of my absolute favorite foods.