kilt at work

[Nighthawk]

I've known people older who acted worse (quite shocked they weren't walked on the spot since they were breaking company rules and acting like bratty children) because no one punished them early on. They literally had no idea that their words and actions are not appropriate.

And that, my dear lady, was my point exactly. Thank you for stating it more clearly than I....

People need someone to tell them when their behavior is inappropriate.

I think it would be pointless to pursue charges against a silly, ignorant girl.

No- she needs to learn early on that that kind of behavior is not acceptable. Otherwise, she will continue to behave that way all through her life. People like that make life miserable for everyone around them. I wish someone had done it to my sister in law when she was 17. Maybe she would be so crass and rude now...

[The Barry]

I think it would be pointless to pursue charges against a silly, ignorant girl.

I'm on this side. Take the high road. She's a child; make sure that she finds out that her actions (and attitude) are inappropriate, but I would advocate for leaving it at that.

The power of the kilt is a mysterious and wondrous thing. No telling how one might react. She's probably never seen something so absurdly manly in her limited experience on this wee planet.

[Sammac]

I agree with Nighthawk, the girl needs to learn about appropiate behavoior at work. I had a small group of teens at a mall once, laugh and point at me when I kilted. As I walked by I turned to them and said that I thought about laughing about the way they were dressed( the low riding pants), but I remembered about being young and stupid once.

[Calico]

I only have one issue with this. The OP stated in two separate posts that this is a "professional" environment.

This implies that he considers himself a professional. As such, he should also consider it his own duty to be able to handle personnel issues like this without whining to the boss.

Yes, true harassment may require the intervention of HR or legal authorities, but a young girl making silly remarks? Take the situation in hand and teach her the error of her ways. Don't start your career being a whiney-butt. You won't help your career advancement objectives if that is how your company perceives you.

[Spc. Scott]

I'm with the "talk to her" camp on this one. Cut it off now if you can. Same reason I make my 3 and 4 year old boys sit through dinner or ask to excused if they finish before my wife and I. If they don't learn it now they likely wont ever learn it.

On a daily basis I'm am amazed at what passes for "good" behavior.

[llyd]

Yeah...explain it to her gently...she obviously lacks some critical parenting....I am betting if you mentor her respectfully and expect to be respected in return, you will make a friend who will look to you as a role model. S good leadership.
I work with alot of 17 to 24 year olds...

[EagleJCS]

My brother's m-i-l usually makes a comment or two about my "skirt" when I come over to a family gathering while kilted (usually either on my way from/to a piping gig). It doesn't bother me much anymore (she's not MY m-i-l -- thank heavens!), but I'm (somewhat) surprised she persists since she's a retired schoolteacher and she knows what it is and why I wear it. She's definitely old enough now to know better, but sometimes she says and does things that make me wonder where/if she learned her manners ...

What DOES bother me is that my older niece has picked up on it and now mimics her grandmother in making comments about my "skirt". She's been admonished by my s-i-l and my brother (within my hearing) that it's not polite to say things like that, especially if you know better. Still, when she sees me in my kilt the first thing she says is, "You're wearing your _skirt_ again!"

Regarding the OP, let's hope the young miss (not a lady yet) learns from this and becomes more tolerant of things that are outside of her previous experiences.

[Nighthawk]

I'm with the "talk to her" camp on this one. Cut it off now if you can. Same reason I make my 3 and 4 year old boys sit through dinner or ask to excused if they finish before my wife and I. If they don't learn it now they likely wont ever learn it.

On a daily basis I'm am amazed at what passes for "good" behavior.

Yeah, exactly. Basic courtesy and respect are foreign concepts, these days. I would have never badmouthed a coworker when I was 17! I wouldn't do it now!

What DOES bother me is that my older niece has picked up on it and now mimics her grandmother in making comments about my "skirt". She's been admonished by my s-i-l and my brother (within my hearing) that it's not polite to say things like that, especially if you know better. Still, when she sees me in my kilt the first thing she says is, "You're wearing your _skirt_ again!"

I had the same problem with my sister in law and my nephews. My younger nephew wanted to have a Renaissance Festival style birthday party a couple years ago, so I went in my Renaissance Scots garb. I overheard him saying to one of his friends "It's OK- it's a man skirt!" That was it for me. I asked my sister in law and brother why they would intentionally teach their kids to be stupid, if that was what they thought of as responsible parenting. My sister in law got really angry, and my brother, who grew up in the culture but didn't get the... shall we say, stones... that I did got ashamed. It's mostly stopped. Never know- the direct "Quit demeaning me, bi-otch" approach may be the one that needs to be taken. I'm a patient and polite person, but after a while, I just have to stop taking peoples crap...

[swampfox]

I only have one issue with this. The OP stated in two separate posts that this is a "professional" environment.

This implies that he considers himself a professional. As such, he should also consider it his own duty to be able to handle personnel issues like this without whining to the boss.

Yes, true harassment may require the intervention of HR or legal authorities, but a young girl making silly remarks? Take the situation in hand and teach her the error of her ways. Don't start your career being a whiney-butt. You won't help your career advancement objectives if that is how your company perceives you.

its not a true professional setting persay so i misspoke on that... it was more of a bad day for me, i have very thick skin so crap like this normally doesn't bother me for some reason she got under my skin after i calmed down i had a talk with the boss he said he would talk to her, i got to work around noon and told him not to worry about it and just let it go he said ok.
what suprised me was after she got there around 5 she apologized to me i told her no worries it is what it is and that i didnt apreciate her calling me out like that in front of customers she said sorry i said no need for an apology its in the past and just dont let it happen again everything was kosher after that and i did say that friendly banter is cool but there is a line.
and i wasn't whining as you say... its a normal concern for someone to feel harassed wether its coming from a 17 year old little girl or an old lady.

[Whidbey78]

People can be very rude when they think they're being funny. Sad but true.

I've been there, as have many of us. I would say, just as many already did, roll on. You already let the boss know. You did all you should really have to do. If she keeps it up she'll only hurt herself. It doesn't always happen right away, but people always get back what they put out into the world. Karma.

Just stay professional, especially when customers are present. Don't stoop to her level. That, in itself, will win you more support than anything you could do, especially filing formal complaints since those things are often viewed as retaliation by co-workers even though you are the one who was wronged.

Good job on keeping your head and handling it well.