Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

**starbkjrus** · 29th August 07, 11:10 AM

I have got to stop reading this thread while eating lunch at my desk. People keep wondering what can be so funny about a sandwich.

**mddock58** · 29th August 07, 11:05 AM

I believe you went from Chapter 12 to chapter 14! Did we miss something, or are you superstitious?

**davedove** · 29th August 07, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by mddock58

I believe you went from Chapter 12 to chapter 14! Did we miss something, or are you superstitious?

You're right, he did.

Oh, Panache, do not tell me you have succumbed to low-minded superstition.

**Colin** · 29th August 07, 11:24 AM

Chapter 13 is Classified and is hidden safely away within the Hall of the League of Moderators. No one can ever know what really happened in Chapter 13

**McClef** · 29th August 07, 11:32 AM

“This map is in English units measurements” complained David just to be difficult. "

British measurements Sir! They are the same in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland!

(Alas the rest of Ireland has now adopted godless metricism!)

**McMurdo** · 29th August 07, 12:02 PM

I had no idea that I spoke Inuit. I suppose you learn something new everyday.

**mkmound** · 29th August 07, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by McMurdo

I had no idea that I spoke Inuit. I suppose you learn something new everyday.

It's obviously so natural and comfortable to you that you don't even think about it!!

**Panache** · 29th August 07, 03:25 PM

Gentle Readers,

Rather than allow you to think that I am either subject to irrational superstition or, worse yet, incapable of keeping an accurate count of the chapters I have written (which of course would be completely unheard of) I will endeavor to explain the conspicuous absence of the 13th Chapter of this tale.

Chapter 13 dealt with what was concurrently happening at the Great Golden Hall of X Marks the Scot among the rest of the League of the Moderators whilst our brave expedition was confronting Grant. Besides illuminating certain secrets of the League of the Moderators, it also described how Mike and Nelson discovered the existence of our clandestinely made zeppelin, the Saltire, and how Nelson’s symphony orchestra had been purloined to man her. Nelson and Mike described their feelings about these actions, their personal opinions about the three of us collaborators, and their plans for us when they eventually caught us. To protect the Leagues’ secrets and in keeping with X Marks the Scot’s policies regarding profanity and descriptions of extremely violent actions, the Chapter was removed from this narrative. As Colin has previously noted it is now kept at the Great Golden Hall within the secrecy of our private records, sadly never to be seen by the public's eye.

I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

Your Most humble Servant

P.

**Mike1** · 29th August 07, 03:51 PM

How I 'discovered' your little plan?!? As if your pitiful attempts at secrecy may have disillusioned me, eh?

Do you not yet understand that I see all?

**The Wizard of BC** · 30th August 07, 09:53 AM

"The Wizard beamed with pride. “This is one of my greatest creations. Over 500 gallons of coffee is maintained at piping hot temperatures inside that chamber without burning the brew. It is distributed throughout my laboratory by this system of pipes.”

Well, now that you have let the cat out of the bag and blabbed to the entire world about my "FK Coffee Delivery System" (patent pending) I have been inundated with PM's and e-mails asking for me to install them for others.

I believe that if I ever fail miserably as a kiltmaker that I have a fall back career.

I have worked out a way to install "The System" using a Geothermal water source for heat and pure, naturally filtered, water. Then using a solar roasting platform which combines electric generation to operate the pumps and an old ceiling fan to evenly rake the beans while roasting, I then pipe the coffee through the entire house in a system of heat dissipation panels which are used as central heating similar to radiators. Each spigot is controlled by a laser sensing beam that eliminates the need for manual buttons or levers to dispense the coffee.
I believe that "The System" will appeal to those interested in "Green" technology as it uses no outside power, water, or other utilities. In fact you can sell the excess electricity back to the power company thereby not only paying for itself but creating enough income to pay for the coffee beans.

Captain Panache, I have installed "The System" throughout the Saltaire. During your arduous journey you will need the heat to keep the valves of the musicians instruments from freezing and the coffee will boost the moral of your crew. As you depart Victoria and cruise north I will wave you on your way from my loggia knowing that the intrepid crew of the Saltaire will not be hardshipped by lukewarm or stale coffee.

And the 100,000 candlepower scrolling marquee I installed along the sides of the Saltaire proclaiming "Powered by the FK Coffee Delivery System, get yours now, Visa and Master Card accepted" will serve as a beacon to the world.

Bon Voyage, my new friends, and may your search be a boon to sporran wearers everywhere.