What would you do if your mother asked you?

**BEEDEE** · 3rd March 07, 08:46 AM

Next time the MIL wears slacks, just say "I'm sorry they keep putting you in slacks".

Brian

**auld argonian** · 3rd March 07, 09:25 AM

Haven't I seen some news footage of Prince Charles and his sons hiking around in their kilted gear? Show her those and let ehr know that if it's good enough for future Kings of England, she ought to lighten up on you and the boy.

Best

AA

**Frank McGrath** · 3rd March 07, 09:13 AM

Since when does your mother in law have a say in the raising of your kid. I told my mother in law that she had no say. If she wants to tell me what to do (and she wanted to) I told her to get her own kid. I also told her she didn't do that well with her daughter. (we are divorced).

**Bob C** · 3rd March 07, 09:27 AM

Sorry, guys, but there's no nice way to do this. This is clearly a woman who needs to be told to shut the hell up.

Monkey and Frank are right. It's about respect. She shows none, she deserves none.

**Chef** · 3rd March 07, 09:26 AM

I have a mother-in-law with the same attitude but as was already said, family is family. I would be very happy if she would accept my wearing the kilt past a wedding or Scottish event, but she doesn't and I don't expect that she ever will. Unfortunately that is not an unusual viewpoint as we all know.

How I get around it is fairly simple; I am not kilted all the time (my view of what is a kilt makes it not the garment of choice, all the time) so if I know I will be around her I will occasionally make a concession and wear pants. Personally I don't care what she thinks but it helps spare my wife from the comments.

When it comes to my kids however I am more protective of the kilt wearing. My oldest (7) loves to wear his kilt (just like his Dad) but I only let him wear it when I know he will get positive reactions. I know he eventually he will get negative feedback but since this is a choice I want him to experience all the positive he can. I want him to feel very secure about wearing the kilt and have it his choice. Occasionally telling him no actually seems to encourage his desire.

His Grandmother has only seen him a couple of times in kilts and my wife and I have heard the comments, but I told my wife to warn her that if she said anything negative to my son she might be lucky to see him again by the time he graduates college (I think my wife toned it down in the translation).

As far as my youngest (2 1/2) he is just starting to show an interest in a kilt. I will probably get him in one for some of the games this year. He hasn't been in a wedding so he hasn't been in one yet. Not because the M-I-L doesn't like it but my wife and I are not fans of dressing little kids in adult style clothes and I consider a kilt to fall in that category.

Anyway long story to really say that you might need to bend a little to help keep family peace but just make sure any comments never get to your kids.

**The Supreme Canuck** · 3rd March 07, 09:30 AM

Agree completely. Not her kid, not her say.

**Panache** · 3rd March 07, 09:33 AM

jordanjm,

If you choose to directly confront your Mother-in-Law on her dislike of kilts keep this thought in mind.

Poise is the art of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof

Cheers

Panache

**David Dalglish** · 3rd March 07, 09:42 AM

The Bairn looks great, As long as you & your wife likes the kilt, that's all that counts

**Dreadbelly** · 3rd March 07, 09:57 AM

I'd tell her that a gramma that can't respect heritage is never going to see her grandchild ever again.

In baby talk.

And I'd probably tell the old bat to STHU. But I don't recommend that you do this.

I do know what I would have done though. First words out of her mouth I would have escorted her to the door and told her to get the hell out, and don't come back till you get some respect for your own flesh and blood.

**starbkjrus** · 3rd March 07, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Dreadbelly

I'd tell her that a gramma that can't respect heritage is never going to see her grandchild ever again.

In baby talk.

And I'd probably tell the old bat to STHU. But I don't recommend that you do this.

I do know what I would have done though. First words out of her mouth I would have escorted her to the door and told her to get the hell out, and don't come back till you get some respect for your own flesh and blood.

I've probably had too many family encounters (not about the kilt) that I am jaded. What I would do is be a bit more forceful than Dread (above). She would be told in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that she would change her tone or she would no longer be allowed to see her grandchild. You have a MAJOR issue here with a MIL who is going to try to rule your life. Deal with her NOW. If you don't (and especially if your wife plays along) you are going to be miserable and your life will be dictated by this er....person. Fix her or get rid of her before she ruins your marriage!