Some more Irish humor.

[Graham]

or this one:

Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce? the solicitor questioned his
client. Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?
Oh, no, replied Mrs. O'Connor. Sure now, we only have a carport.
The solicitor tried again. Well, does the man beat you up?
No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. I'm always first out of bed.
Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. Well, does he go in for
unnatural connubial practices?
Sure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the
connubial.
Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. What I'm trying to find out are what
grounds you have.
"Bless you, sir. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone
grounds. Mrs. O'Connor, the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, you need a
reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for you seeking this
divorce?
Ah, well now, said the lady, Sure it's because the man can't hold an
intelligent conversation.

[Graham]

I can't help myself, here's more:

A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole goddam day to drive from one side of my ranch
to the other."
The Kerry farmer says:"Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over
here too."

and..........

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "where were
you?".
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds; "look son, look what I'm after making".
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?"
God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named
it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For
example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be
rich and south America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them -
that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over
here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of blacks in
the south. And then the archangel said, "and what's that green dot there?". And
God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place. That's
going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful Mountains, lakes, rivers,
streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are going to be great
craic and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights
and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black
liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the
far corners of the earth to imbibe. Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and
admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about
the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance..
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"

[mbhandy]

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"

And I thought the Irish were mad.

MrBill

[beloitpiper]

You've probably heard these too...

Fellow walks into a pub in Belfast with a plastic bag under his arms. The bartender asks 'What's that?' 'Six pounds of semtex', he answers. 'thank goodness; I thought it was a bodhran!'" Or: "There was the fiddle player who, while visiting the local pub, was asked for a dollar to help pay for the funeral of a local bodhran player. 'Here's two dollars;' he says 'bury another.'"

and here's me doing a bodhran workshop this weekend!

Great Session humor!!! Although, I'm curious to know if others get it...

[beowulf67]

These are great. I hope everyone has a fantastic St. Pat's Day