Privacy and the Highlands Ethos.

[ccga3359]

I have found that Scots are almost always very courteous and helpful but also very reserved compared to most folks here in the states - but I would say that is equally true for many across the British isles.

After spending a few weeks knocking around out of the way locations - away from the heavily touristy spots, the sudden appearance of an "American loudmouth" on the scene is both startling and unsettling to this Idaho kiltie.

Phil aside from an Uncle from California I met once in the early 70's I've yet to find that "American Loudmouth" you refer to. Of my many dealings with Americans I've found them to be a polite, reserved people undeserving the stereotypical reputation that they have. I feel that the US members of this forum generally show this. As for Scots, all I need mention is that I am English by birth and I'm sure to hear his "opinions". It seems a birthright of both nations to poke light-hearted jabs at each other.

[Jock Scot]

What I have noticed over the years is that there are, thankfully, very few loudmouth Americans. Some Americans, most certainly, do try so desperately hard to fit in and it is almost painful to witness as they get it so wrong. Oh boy do they get it wrong! But you cannot fault them for trying to fit in. Most visitors, Americans included, are interested and respectful to their surroundings and any minor faux pas is smiled away by the locals.I suspect this happens the world over with every nation whether visitor, or, host.

[Inchessi]

While traveling as an active duty Marine I saw that you will know when we are in a bar before you see the bar. You will not know we are in a sanctuary or place of respect even when you see us.

A family friend was traveling Europe, and on two separate occasions that I know of, somebody told her that she had to be an American. She braced herself for the worse, and was told that Americans tend to be very polite, and leave a wide birth of personnel space.

[pdcorlis]

Phil aside from an Uncle from California I met once in the early 70's I've yet to find that "American Loudmouth" you refer to....snip

I hope that's true for most that meet us - I think many folks who go to the trouble to travel abroad try their best to avoid the old stereotype of the "ugly American" but I have had the unfortunate experience of wintessing Yankee travelers asking startlingly personal questions or speaking loudly enough to raise the locals' eyebrows in several kirks and historical settings.

[ThistleDown]

I hope that's true for most that meet us - I think many folks who go to the trouble to travel abroad try their best to avoid the old stereotype of the "ugly American" but I have had the unfortunate experience of wintessing Yankee travelers asking startlingly personal questions or speaking loudly enough to raise the locals' eyebrows in several kirks and historical settings.

I wonder, Phil, if you are not being overly sensitive. It's rare that I have experienced the "loud-mouthed" American to whom you refer. More often I have experienced shrinking on the part of those who think their fellow American is being too assertive in cultures where a quieter demeaner is more the norm. Most of the rest of the world takes cultural idiosyncracies in stride (jokes about the penny-wise Scot are most often found in Aberdeen )

[pdcorlis]

I wonder, Phil, if you are not being overly sensitive. It's rare that I have experienced the "loud-mouthed" American to whom you refer. More often I have experienced shrinking on the part of those who think their fellow American is being too assertive in cultures where a quieter demeaner is more the norm. Most of the rest of the world takes cultural idiosyncracies in stride (jokes about the penny-wise Scot are most often found in Aberdeen )

You and Grant are probably right - I'll lighten-up.

[KD Burke]

I can only speak from experience, as no doubt we all do. My heritage is from the very deepest of the southern United States. My parents were raised in depression era rural Georgia. From them I learned a profound reticence of divulging personal details and a profound distaste for those who do. Need it be said that I find "reality TV" horrifying?

I wonder if this is a holdover from the Scots-Irish settlers who originally settled in the southern states.

That being said, I do find that other American heritages seem to be a bit louder, or perhaps more extroverted, than I would be comforable with. I'm mindful of an Italian/Puerto Rican friend who will happlily provide details of his sex life, medical status, and the state of his digestive functions upon any provocation.

It may be that the melting pot hasn't yet reached full boil.

[long_hand]

My kin is from Ky and Va before that and I can certainly attest to the "quietness" of mountain culture. I tend to be introverted and protective of my "space" or "close-mouthed" as everyone always said of my grandparents.

[Arlen]

Got it in one Arlen! You will find the Scots courteous and helpful almost to a fault(most of the time), but unless you have known a Scot for a long lifetime you will never know ALL there is to know about them and even then, perhaps not. I suppose that is probably why I use a "nom de plume" here, it is just a natural thing to do to keep a bit of ourselves to ourselves.

It's just a culture difference but easy enough to get around, as you said.

For the first few months Diane was living in Scotland she was dreadfully homesick and thought no one liked her.
By the time she went home to America she was overwhelmed by how 'in your face' it felt like people were.

[piperdbh]

The OP here was about a sense of privacy among mountain folk. I'll speak for us and say that what we value very highly the qualities of privacy and of minding one's own business. My grandmother forbade trick-or-treating, not because of religious views or fear for her children's safety, but rather because she didn't want them "bothering the neighbors". We also prize independence, because, not too long ago, the isolation of the mountains demanded independence.
What some people perceive as mistrust or even fear of strangers is not usually mistrust or fear. In the southern Appalachians, many of us have lived in the same area for two or three or more generations, and we know each other's kinfolk, and we share many aspects of a common history. When a stranger moves in, we don't have that common ground to meet on, or the common history to remember, so, consequently we don't have much to say to that person. After some time passes and he/she demonstrates just what kind of person he/she is, we decide how involved we will become with that person. It's just like marrying into a family. It usually takes a while to fit in.

As for the "loudmouth American", they're all around. There are plenty of them in my family. I can loan some of them to you, if you'd like to see one in action.