MHICE but no Hick's Boson

[Bugbear]

Yes, I saw that, Pleater, and thought of you. I also thought of you when they put that observation windo in the space station.

[Pleater]

Ian McGreagor thrust his fists into the pockets of his knitted cardigan, stretching the already distorted shape even further out of line.

'Are you sure that they will not suspect that they are simply watching a computer simulation? They are some of the worlds top scientists, after all.'

Madam Pleater smiled.

'One morning when I was setting out to perform a rather intricate and vital bit of upgrading, I got on the wrong bus. My mind was so fixed on what I intended to do that the fact that I was travelling in entirely the wrong direction completely eluded me.'

'But they are expecting strange and wonderful things.'

'Yes indeed - that is why I have aranged for the simulation to use the number of new posts as shown on my information on a particular forum, to be incorporated into the matrix each day.'

'But - surely that is hardly going to produce anything astonishing?'

'Well - just at the moment is is 273.'

Ian looked baffled.

'But surely you have not sent so many posts to a single forum.'

'Indeed I have not - the numbers have puzzled me for some time, but it seemed a pity not to make some use of them.'

'Couldn't it be dangerous to use numbers generated by an unknown source for such a - well - vital deception.'

Her dark eyes twinkled mischieviously.

'Probably, but no one understands quantum mechanics - and just when I needed numbers, there they were, quantum sufficit, as they used to write on prescriptions - or more usually, q.s. which was once associated with the shop called quality seconds before they went up market.'

'So you are hoping for a better quality of time?'

'I supose I am in a way - oddly enough your father asked me that - at one time. He said that I shouldn't work so hard to try to stop the universe from exploding as it might come back together again in a better way.'

'And what did you say?'

'That it might already have done that and I wanted to keep it this better way.'

'Wouldn't we have noticed?'

'What if I told you that there are forums called X marks the Scot for men who wish to popularise kilts, much like the Y wear pants forum here.'

He laughed.

'I know father likes to spin tall tales after a few brandies but that is a bit too far fetched.'

'Maybe so.'

'Shall I bring you some coffee?' he enquired suddenly, 'I could really do with one.'

'That would be nice, thank you.'

He pottered off, his sandals, the only concesion he made to the temperature, flapping on the polished wooden floor beneath his ankle length denim kilt. Ian was one of nature's excentrics but even he did not consider bivurcated garments suitable attire unless for protection against the biting midges of the Highlands.