Etiquette Help

**Inchessi** · 13th January 10, 02:44 PM

I went to a dear friends wedding in November. I did not wear a kilt. First, I was a groomsman, and was asked to wear a Tux. I informed them that I would like to wear a kilt, and was asked not to. I was not offended, and did not wear a kilt. IT wasn't my wedding, it was theirs. Should my friend stand in my wedding, he will wear a kilt.

Had I just been a guest, I would have worn my kilt. It would have just been a matter of how formal.

**McMurdo** · 13th January 10, 02:55 PM

Ask the Bride and Groom first, if so then go ahead.

**SteveB** · 13th January 10, 09:44 PM

My niece is getting married in May, and she has decided that trousers on men will not be permitted. The event is to be kilts only. No need to ask about that one.

Slainte

**Highlander31** · 13th January 10, 11:50 PM

I always ask the bride.

**Jock Scot** · 14th January 10, 03:42 AM

If the wedding was to be held in the Highlands, I would not ask, nor would I expect to wear anything other than appropriate Highland attire. Anywhere else in the world, I would not wear the kilt to a wedding unless I AM ASKED TO BY THE BRIDE(I am often asked to and I am delighted to oblige), I would not dream of asking under any circumstances.

Here I am at a wedding in Normandy, France. I was wearing the kilt at the request of the beautiful bride. I was the only one dessed in the kilt out of many hundreds of guests and my family and I had a great time.

**Bigkahuna** · 14th January 10, 04:03 AM

This is the Bride's day and I would not want to do anything to take attention away from her. Unless I was asked, I would not wear my kilt.

**Lyle1** · 14th January 10, 08:05 AM

Some good advice has been offered. I think your decision would need to be made occasion by occasion, and you need to consider your own priorities as well as those of the bride and groom. I, personally, would wear pants if that would make everybody more comfortable, but I would have issues with the bride who said that all guests must wear kilts. Hosts have a responsibility to respect the guests as much as the guests have a responsibility to respect the hosts.

**fluter** · 15th January 10, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by Lyle1

... I would have issues with the bride who said that all guests must wear kilts.

She didn't say that: just that pants were forbidden!

Not that I don't agree with your premise, but we don't know the male guests and their wardrobes.

**CMcG** · 15th January 10, 09:05 AM

If in doubt, ask whomever invited you to the wedding.

I went to three weddings kilted this summer with some interesting reactions.

1) A co-worker of Trinidadian/East Indian-by-way-of-Toronto extraction married an Australian lad of English origins. The bride was excited when I told her of my plan to wear a kilt and attendees at the wedding also seemed pleased. The entire wedding party (groom and groomsmen included) wore traditional Indian garb as did a majority of the guests. I had several people come over and strike up conversations on the importance of maintaining traditions!

2) An Italian-American friend from New York asked me to be in his wedding party and to wear a kilt. To match the rest of the groomsmen (who wore tuxes), I wore the same vest, bowtie, and shoes, as well as a black Argyll jacket because it was more similar to their jackets than a Prince Charlie. My Grant tartan tank and horsehair sporran certainly stood out and both the mothers of bride and groom expressed their displeasure at the rehearsel

It was a request from the groom (which the Italian-American bride encouraged) so I went kilted to the actual wedding anyway.

3) An Italian-Canadian friend married a Nova Scotian girl in Halifax and I expressed my desire to go kilted. They both encouraged it and the groom was so excited about the idea that he wanted to wear one too. The bride said it was fine for me but certainly not for him and the groom's mother echoed that sentiment. I went kilted but unfortunately he wasn't allowed to and I was surprised that at a Nova Scotian wedding, I was the only one wearing the kilt. His little old Italian grandmothers made a bee-line for me after the ceremony to ask "The Question" though, and told me the kilt was very sexy

**Arnot** · 14th January 10, 08:30 AM

I think that some folks worry too much about this. I have been to three weddings and one funeral fairly recently. I did not steal the show from any of them. Personally, I think one would have to make a real spectacle of himself for that to happen. If that were the case, one's attire would not matter.