How do you respond?

[PiobBear]

"Hey man, where's your bagpipes?"

Odd; I never get that one.

One that I do get quite often is "Hey man, what's that knife in your sock?"

A sgian dubh. In Gaelic it means "black knife", and is historically a small utility knife originally used for (1) skinning, (2) eating (the fork wasn't introduced to Great Britain until the beginning of the 18th Century, and not widely adopted by all classes in the Scottish Highlands until much later than that), or (3) self-defense (possibly evolved from the sgian achlais, an armpit dagger), depending upon which story you believe.
As early as the 1600's many dirks had smaller knives incorporated into their sheaths, and several matched sets of gralloch knives exist, usually comprising a large hunting (gralloch) knife for gutting and a smaller companion skinning knife. The oldest known knives that generally match the pattern of a sgian dubh were utilitarian and roughly made, usually with antler hilts and brass fittings; similar to gralloch knives. There's the story that originally many Highland officers wouldn't wear sgian dubhs as they were gentlemen, wearing such a thing was beneath their station; those were for servants ("ghillies").
If sgian dubh were derived from sgian achlais, and the custom of wearing them in the hose top derived from exposing hidden weapons as a gesture of your good will and peaceful intent, that's also hard to say, as no sgian achlais (or their presumably shoulder-holster-like scabbards) are known definitively to exist. Also, much of the power of concealed weapons lies in their remaining concealed; I think it highly unlikely that many at that time would voluntarily abandon any advantage of uncertainty and surprise by "showing their hand" and intentionally revealing hidden weapons for such a romantic Victorian notion. Anyway, I've always been skeptical of the idea that the sgian dubh was derived from some sort of weapon anyway. That would imply that in a country that developed the four-foot-long claidheamh mòr and the Lochaber axe, during a time of reivers, highwaymen, intergenerational clan rivalries and blood feuds, people expected to routinely defend themselves with something akin to a paring knife.

The silly ones usually don't ask me many questions after that...

[turpin]

I reply " Wouldn't know I'm a Drummer."
Most of the time their come back is "OOOhhh"

MrBill

I like that one! Perhaps I'd say "I'm not a piper, i'm the band's whisky boy (uisgeabaugh?).

[angel923]

the weirdest one and the most frequent for me is "why don't I get my legs waxed?" My answer "becuase it itches as the hair grows back in." or "what you never seen a bear in a kilt before"

[Rigged]

I usually get, "Uh, excuse me, can I ask you something?" To which I reply, "Sure, but try to be original." Usually followed by blushing and gentle laughter.

[sirdaniel1975]

Questions I've been asked:

Do you play the bagpipes?
Is it true?
Are you Scottish?
Are you Irish?
What the #@!! are you wearing?
Soooo, what do Scot's wear under their kilts?
Is it a Scottish Holiday or something?

3rd party questions:

Daddy/Mommy, why is he wearing a skirt?

Statements directed towards me:

Please tell me you're wearing something underneath.....
Dan, no kilts tonight!
No, It's a skirt!

[PiobBear]

"Who invented bagpipes, anyway?"

It's a well-known fact that it was the Irish who invented the bagpipes and gave them to the Scots...who never discovered the practical joke.

[PaulX608]

Last weekend as we were leaving to go to our Scottish country dance class, one of the neighborhood boys asked me why I was wearing a skirt. I told him it was a kilt. He asked if a kilt was a men's version of a skirt and I told him "no, a skirt is a girl's version of a kilt!" My other current favorite reply to people who ask why I'm wearing a kilt is one I read on here. I wish I could remember who it was that said it, but it goes like this:"Well, all the women here are in jeans and I didn't want to dress like a girl!"

[PiobBear]

One I'm sure to hear at least four times on the 17th:
"Hey, why aren't you drinking green beer?"


As everyone knows, God always intended for beer to be black!
int:

[Dreadbelly]

One I'm sure to hear at least four times on the 17th:
"Hey, why aren't you drinking green beer?"


As everyone knows, God always intended for beer to be black!
int:

DAMN STRAIGHT SIR.

Quoted for truth.

[Woodsheal]

To smart-*** guys making the "skirt" comment:

"Look around; you're the one dressed like a girl!"

To the "where's your bagpipes" question:

"I don't own any. Where's your banjo?"